* Originally in: FUNNY Jokes    
    * Originally on: 11-21-12 09:09   
    * Originally by: Robert E Starr JR @861.fu   
    * Originally to: All @Echomail*4   
      
   Thanksgiving Forecast   
      
   THANKSGIVING OUTLOOK by Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the   
   book, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies,   
   Facts, and Fun in Forecasting," by Norm MacDonald   
      
   Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to   
   an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and   
   humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe   
   squall or cold shoulder.   
      
   During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a   
   knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation   
   of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift   
   across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots   
   on the other. Please pass the gravy.   
      
   A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for   
   the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the   
   beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and   
   taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 F in the   
   refrigerator.   
      
   Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat   
   sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be   
   expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered   
   soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup   
   develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as   
   the only wish left will be the bone.   
      
   Received from Thomas Ellsworth.   
      
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