From Newsgroup: alt.tv.star-trek.tos   
   From Address: jwsdisney@bellsouth.net   
   Subject: Dating Seven of Nine [ humor ]   
      
   I have always wondered how SEVEN OF NINE would react in today's social   
   situations.   
   -   
   So I paraphrased some memorable quotes from VOYAGER episodes, and used them as   
   reactions to a few pickup lines, cliches, and other phrases..   
   -   
   ** A Man approaches Seven of Nine ***   
   -   
   MAN: Did the sun just come up or did you just smile at me?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Perhaps your visual subroutines are malfunctioning.    
   -   
   MAN: [handing SEVEN OF NINE some roses] Here's a rose for my beautiful flower.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Thank you. I'll admire them later.    
   -   
   MAN: I've never met a woman like you before.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: There are no women like me!    
   -   
   MAN: You must be the reason men fall in love.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Intriguing but implausible.    
   -   
   MAN: You may have noticed that some of the crew seem a bit on edge when you're   
   around.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: I was Borg. I elicit apprehension.    
   -   
   MAN: The lily and the rose are staging a competition on your face.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: Clarify.    
   MAN: The fullness of your lips and the paleness of your cheeks -- it's enough   
   to make a man faint.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: Then, in that case, perhaps we should sit down.   
   -   
   MAN: What do you do with your spare time?    
   SEVEN OF NINE: Regenerate.    
   -   
   MAN: You're funny!   
   SEVEN OF NINE: I understand the concept of humor. It may not be apparent, but   
   I am often amused by human behavior.   
      
   ** LATER AT DINNER -- **   
   -   
   SEVEN OF NINE: These nutritional supplements are unacceptable.    
   MAN: What would you like for dinner?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: The consumption of nutritional biomatter.    
    -   
   MAN: I'm a man. You're a woman.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Is that an observation or a diagnosis?    
   -   
   MAN: Why don't we go back to my apartment?     
   SEVEN OF NINE: Remove your hand or I will remove your arm!    
   MAN: I'll think about it.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Think quickly.   
   -   
   MAN: Teach me about love.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Perhaps there's something to be said for assimilation, after   
   all.    
   -   
   MAN: Do you want to make babies? No?  Then do you want to practice?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: I am familiar with the physiological processes of sexuality.    
   -   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Nevertheless, I am willing to explore my humanity. Take off   
   your clothes.    
   MAN: Are you coming on to me?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: I assure you, resistance is futile. You must comply.   
   -   
   SOME TIME LATER.....   
   -   
   MAN: Good morning.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: That remains to be seen.    
   -   
   MAN: Was it good for you?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: It was acceptable.   
   -   
   MAN: You're very particular about who you choose to spend time with, Seven.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: You do possess... commendable qualities.    
   -   
   MAN: I want to get to know you.   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Acquiring knowledge is a worthy objective. But its pursuit has   
   obviously not elevated you.    
   -   
   MAN: Don't you realize that I love you?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: An attraction based on sexual desire, one that facilitates   
   procreation.    
   MAN: I guess I'm asking the wrong person.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: Not at all. The Borg have referenced this condition in over   
   6,000 assimilated species.    
   MAN: Condition? You make it sound like a disease.    
   SEVEN OF NINE: Physiologically, it bears a striking similarity to disease. A   
   series of biochemical responses that trigger an emotional cascade, impairing   
   normal functioning. Get well soon.   
   -   
   [SEVEN OF NINE begins to leave the room]   
   MAN: You are leaving me?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: Simplistic, but accurate.   
   -   
   MAN: But we've only just met!  Are you afraid of commitment?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: This debate is pointless.   
   -   
   MAN: But... why are you leaving?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: I must discontinue this activity. I am not well.   
   -   
   MAN: Will I ever see you again, my beautiful angel?   
   SEVEN OF NINE: That is highly unlikely, since religious metaphors are   
   irrelevant.   
   -   
   MAN: Oh, well, I suppose there are more fish in the sea.   
   SEVEN NINE: Perhaps you should confine your efforts to that location.   
   -   
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