From Newsgroup: alt.tv.star-trek.tos
From Address: Larry@bh.com
Subject: Re: Nine signs that your husband may be Gay - with Star Trek
references [Humor, commentary]
I bet Laura's husband is gay...or just WISHES to God that he were
before they got married. Too late now. If he came out to her, she'd
just cheer. LOL.
On Fri, 16 Sep 2011 14:57:21 -0400, ToolPackinMama
wrote:
>Nine signs that your husband may be Gay - with Star Trek references
>By Laura Goodwin
>
>LOL I love this list. For the record, I did not invent this list of
>nine signs. [
>http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/18/signs-your-husband-is-
ay_n_687160.html#s128442&title=He_Has_A
>] I just replaced their commentary with my own.
>
>
>
>"1) He Has A Gym Membership But No Interest In Sports
>
>Gay men use the gym as a place to socialize and to have secret liaisons
>in the bathrooms. If your man returns from the gym too exhausted to talk
>or have sex, that is a worrisome sign."
>
>--> Jim Kirk certainly does like to frequent the Gym aboard the ship -
>he's generally active and athletic. But he NEVER mentions ANY interest
>in ANY organized team sport.
>
>"2) He Has A Love Of Pop Culture Including 'Glee' And 'The Golden Girls'
>
>ItAs quite common for young men to enjoy the science fiction end of
>popular culture, but when your husband becomes overly obsessed with
>romantic and feminine shows, that is cause for alarm."
>
>--> Of course James T. Kirk knows nothing about those particular shows,
>but does he like "feminine things"? Why yes, he does. For example, in
>'Is There In Truth No Beauty?' he shamelessly admits to Miranda that the
>floral garden is his favorite place on the ship. He demonstrates an
>unusually high interest in pretty flowers several times.
>
>"3) He Travels Frequently To Big Cities Or Asia
>
>Big cities offer indulgence of every kind. From gay bars and clubs to
>prostitutes and sex bathhouses, a man seeking encounters can find them
>easily if heAs so inclined. Is there ever really a good excuse for a
>husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?"
>
>--> Oh my goodness not only does Kirk visit San Francisco, but he does
>it in a BIG WAY - crash-landing into the Bay in a stolen Klingon ship -
>FABULOUS! He goes to SF frequently - and NEVER takes a wife with him.
>
>"4) He's Extroverted About His Bare Chest In Public
>
>Does he go shirtless in the back yard or at picnics when other men are
>around? Does he wear a Speedo at the beach? Does it seem like heAs
>purposely standing right in the middle of a crowd to show off his chest
>and arm muscles, peppering people with questions about how strong he looks?"
>
>--> Oh boy, Jim Kirk is actually famous for this. It's one of the most
>obvious patterns of behavior he has demonstrated. I mean, this
>characterization NAILS him, all except for the asking part. He doesn't
>have to ask, he knows the answer.
>
>"5) He Wears "Clothes That Are Too Tight And Too 'Trendy'
>
>Gay men donAt need words to communicate their availability for sex 'hook
>ups.' They silently broadcast the news by showing off their lean, hard
>bodies in designer clothing labels. If your husband owns skinny jeans
>and looks at his buttocks in the mirror, it is probably worthwhile to
>pay more attention to his private activities."
>
>--> Well, this is tough to attach to Kirk because he is usually in
>uniform... and when he is not he is disguised in the latest fashions to
>blend in with the locals... unless some powerful alien gave him
>something special to wear, like the sexy little mini-dress he sported in
>Plato's Stepchildren.
>
>"6) He's Sassy, Sarcastic And Ironic Around His Friends
>
>A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may
>exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a
>sense, he has olet his hair downo and this will be seen in excessive
>back talk and speaking with oneAs hands."
>
>--> Well, no. Kirk actually only acts sassy and sarcastic toward his
>foes... but come to think of it, he is usually the presence of his
>friends when this happens.
>
>Back-talk!? Why yes, now that you mention it, Kirk often has some very
>pithy and pointed back-talk for his foes. But he doesn't speak with his
>hands... oh wait, yes he does.
>
>"7) "More Interested in the men than the women in pornographic films
>
>"If you have gone down this road and find that your man perks up at the
>sight of the men in these sorts of videos, you should be concerned. If
>he selects films because of specific male actors, this is an obvious
>sign that he is suffering from a crisis of ego and desire."
>
>--> OK, we have no idea if Kirk ever views any porn, or what type of
>porn he might prefer, but he certainly prefers the company of men to the
>company of women. When he goes on vacation, he goes camping with the
>guys, for example. The only time we ever see him with women is when his
>job somehow forced him to be with them.
>
>"8) He Takes On Sudden, Heavy Drinking
>
>Does your man disappear on drinking binges for long hours without
>answering his cell phone? Is there a strange odor about him when he
>returns, some strange mix of cigarettes and gel? Does he cry frequently?"
>
>--> We have no way of knowing what Kirk smells like after one of his
>drinking adventures, but judging purely from what we have seen I'd
>guess he smells like rock dust, campfire smoke, and pine needles. He's
>very outdoorsy.
>
>9) He's Overly Fastidious About His Appearance And The Home
>
>Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and
>they smell. Homosexuals often abhor this sort of thing and will also be
>incredibly particular about the cleanliness of the home. Does your man
>tweeze his eyebrows, trim his pubic hairs or use face moisturizers?"
>
>--> Ok, not that Kirk avoids a good roll in the dirt with a manly
>antagonist, but he actually is fastidious and tidy generally. He
>usually is squeeky clean and meticuously well-groomed. He even shaves
>his chest, a fact which he is fond of proving to people. I don't know
>about moisturizers, but he does wear make-up. We have seen him pull out
>a jar of foundation and apply it with casual expertise.
>
>
>[Original reference article:
>http://christwire.org/2010/08/is-my-husband-gay/ ]
--- Synchronet 3.15a-Linux NewsLink 1.92-mlp
--- SBBSecho 2.12-Linux
* Origin: telnet & http://cco.ath.cx - Dial-Up: 502-875-8938 (1:2320/105.1)
|
