MSGID: 1:229/426.67 233114d1   
   PID: Hotdoged/2.13.5/Android   
   TID: jNode/Android   
   CHRS: UTF-8 4   
   Hello, All.   
      
   When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.   
      
   To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.   
      
   Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.   
      
   It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.   
      
   The older I get, the earlier it gets late.   
      
   When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between   
   yesterday and 15 years ago.   
      
   I remember being able to get    
   up without making sound effects.   
      
   I had my patience tested. I'm negative.   
      
   Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid   
   that doesn't fit any of your containers.   
      
   If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you,  just   
   stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"   
      
   When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I   
   am free. It means I am doing nothing.   
      
   I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.   
      
   I run like the winded.   
      
   I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't   
   know whose side I'm on.   
      
   When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what   
   did you hear?"   
      
   When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an   
   aluminum can stuffed with celery?   
      
   I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get   
   really excited.   
      
   When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."   
      
   Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30   
   seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.   
      
   Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere,  makes your   
   heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people  cops.   
      
   My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.   
      
      
   --   
   Best regards!   
   Posted using Hotdoged on Android   
   --- Hotdoged/2.13.5/Android   
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