Hi again, Richard!  This is a continuation of my previous message to you:   
      
   RW>  [...] this guy was a bit too intense for most junior   
   RW>  high situations.   
      
      
             Sounds familiar.  I taught theory & expected my students to work   
   with me to produce the best sound we could achieve together even though my   
   principal said "Just keep 'em playing... that's what they want at this age!"    
   I was never as popular as the band teacher at his former school.  But a few   
   years later one of my ex-students told me, with some amazement, that the kids   
   in his band class at senior high who hadn't been in my class had no experience   
   with 5/4.  Another followed in my footsteps & eventually became a band teacher   
   himself.  AFAIC one can't be sure who will become a professional musician or a   
   teacher or a staunch supporter of the arts later on & I owe it to my students   
   to do my best....  :-)   
      
      
      
   RW>  HE was truly one of those musician's musician types,   
      
      
             Some folks end up as teachers only after they realize they can't   
   make a living as professional musicians...   
      
      
      
   RW>  played half a dozen different instruments, and all of   
   RW>  them very well, etc.   
      
      
             ... OTOH, unlike many of my classmates who were enrolled in the   
   music department rather than the education department, he seems to have taken   
   courses of this nature seriously!  I can play half a dozen instruments too,   
   but I don't necessarily play all of them well or have the nerve to do it in   
   public....  ;-)   
      
      
      
   AH>  A great lesson for all concerned.  :-))   
      
   RW>  YEp, and part of that was his admission that he should   
   RW>  have expected that I'd work out an alternative signaling   
   RW>  arrangement with my neighbors and been able to put two and   
   RW>  two together.  I think he was a bit disappointed that his   
   RW>  wife didn't correlate one action with another.   
      
      
             Perhaps he accepted her interpretation without question...   
   regardless of how well she knew each individual student and/or how much she   
   knew about the technical aspects of conducting... because she was his wife.    
   Dallas & I have a friend in his eighties who, while he himself has remained   
   single, repeats a lot of the grumbling he hears from another person about wife   
   #2 with no distinction between fact & opinion.  Although we haven't met wife   
   #2 we have known this man since he was married to wife #1.  We can both see   
   why he'd be difficult to live with.  Our friend once said as much but clearly   
   idolized wife #1... [wry grin].   
      
             I believe a lot of otherwise intelligent adults who are old enough   
   to have fully developed prefrontal lobes (or whatever) tend to make errors of   
   this nature fairly often when their nearest & dearest are involved.  As a   
   teacher, I know I must be objective in my evaluation... and I know I must   
   provide adequate data to support whatever conclusion(s) I arrive at.  Your   
   teacher probably knew that too.  As a wife & mother, however, I often find   
   myself expected in various social situations to keep other women occupied so   
   their menfolk can talk freely about the common interests which brought them   
   together with Dallas & me.  While I don't know the woman you've alluded to it   
   wouldn't surprise me if her husband chose her at least in part because she was   
   operating on a different level, then overestimated her ability to understand   
   his concerns sometimes.  But I think it is to his credit that he was   
   educable.  I'm also taking into account when these events probably occurred.    
   Years ago, the average schoolteacher had no training or experience WRT special   
   needs.  Your teacher may have been a pioneer, just as Dallas & I were, with   
   very few positive role models & with very little support.   
      
             Reading between the lines... I gather you & I are about the same   
   age. As it happens, our own daughter attended the elementary school a girl I   
   babysat during my late teens wasn't allowed to attend because she was legally   
   blind.  A lot has changed since then.  I reckon you encountered some of the   
   same problems we've encountered, however.  The idea that folks who are   
   "different" want to do what they're doing is still new & unfamiliar to many   
   other folks.  And we often find ourselves battling misconceptions such as the   
   idea that everybody who uses a wheelchair is exactly like whoever else gets   
   most of the publicity... (sigh).   
      
      
      
      
   --- timEd/386 1.10.y2k+   
    * Origin: Wits' End, Vancouver CANADA (1:153/716)