My wallet is going to divorce me, or kill me. :)   
      
   I've had 2 trips to an area Emergency Room in 4 days, and while    
   surgery did not result from either visit, both were rather    
   stressful.   
      
   Last Thursday night, I started experiencing chills, fever, nausea   
   (but no vomiting), moderate to severe abdominal pain, and    
   diarrhea. Having taken a Phenagren (anti-nausea medicine), I   
   was too groggy to drive to the Emergency Room, so I called the   
   ambulance. I didn't know if it was food poisoning, the flu,   
   gastrointeritis, or appendicitis. They drew blood, got a urine   
   sample, and did a CT scan. It turns out that the white blood   
   count, and my appendix were OK...but I had caught the Nerovirus   
   (a strain of viral gastrointeritis) that was going around. I did   
   get shots for the flu, pneumonia, shingles, and tetnaus in 2012.   
      
   Two nights later (Saturday), I started experiencing testicular   
   pain. It'd start as a dull throb, then moderately ramp up to a   
   peak, the ebb back off. The "max" was a 4 on Saturday night,   
   but increased to a 7 on Sunday. It got so where I was having   
   attacks every 1 to 2 minutes. This time I drove myself to the   
   Emergency Room (I had 3 attacks enroute, and at least 6 attacks   
   after I got there).    
      
   After a long wait, they got me into a "room" (I use the term    
   loosely...there was just a gurney, a cabinent with gowns, and    
   drawers of supplies...no other outlets, medical instruments,    
   etc.).    
      
   It turns out that I had a classic case of epididymitis...the    
   epididymis surrounding the testicles were inflamed...but it   
   wasn't torsion of the testicle...that would require emergency   
   surgery, as the testicle could die from lack of blood flow to   
   it.   
      
   The first question I was asked was if I had been having   
   "unprotected sex". I told them that except for masturbation   
   on occasion (which they said could help ease the discomfort   
   of epididymytis), I had only had sexual intercourse with one   
   woman in my life, my late wife...and the last time that took   
   place was on the night she died nearly 6 years ago. I never   
   dreamed that "sex could kill you". The last thing we said to   
   each other was "I love you", and I still get tears in my eyes   
   nearly 6 years after her death, whether I type it, or talk   
   about it.   
      
   A bit of a conflict of interest, as it were, exists, though...   
   They said "no sex until the medication (Doxycycline) is done   
   (which will be a month), but yet (as noted above) "masturbation   
   was OK". I have an appointment with my PCP Tuesday afternoon,   
   and "he's going to have fun with me".    
      
   After I had my vasectomy done just before I got married in   
   2003 (since a severe case of the chicken pox back in 1980    
   put me in the hospital for a week, out of work and school for    
   2 months, and sterilized me), the doctor said "no sex for a    
   week"...I only made it 4 days. I had to keep "Frozen Peas" on   
   the scrotal area, to keep the swelling down...my wife said    
   "you'll never look at frozen peas the same way again". She   
   was mad that the urologist didn't "save the fragments of the   
   vas deferens that were cut away" for her. She said "she would   
   have been a doctor, but calculus messed things up".    
      
   This time, I was advised to get some OTC Ibuprofen tablets   
   (anti-inflammatory) to help with the pain. I'd prefer NOT to   
   take the Hydrocodone or Oxycodone (given after surgeries for   
   kidney stones and removal of two toes off each foot, due to   
   freak accidents), because those are so addictive...not to   
   mention that I'm hypersensitive to anesthetics, pain meds,   
   etc., and once I take them, I'm asleep in short order, or   
   groggy the rest of the day.   
      
   The good news is that I didn't need surgery in either case.   
   The bad news is that my wallet may need a transfusion.    
      
   Daryl   
      
   ... Either this man's dead, or my watch is stopped. -Groucho   
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