From: nicky.matthews@btinternet.com

On Monday, September 8, 2014 12:01:02 PM UTC+1, Jymesion wrote:
> I'm trying a writing exercise re: descriptions. I can picture this but
>
> don't know if it'd click with anyone else:
>
>
>
> He smoothed his tie in his best Mr. Super-Suave manner as he strolled
>
> over to her desk.
>
Is this alt history?
>
>
>
> My back-brain is yelling about how horrible it is, but it fits all the
>
> guidelines I'm trying to follow.
>
>
>
> Also, only semi-related:
>
>
>
> (Secretary) "Is it interesting?"
>
> (Him) "Angling for a loose lips bonus?" He twirled the flash drive
>
> before stuffing it into his shirt pocket. "You know I love you, dear,
>
> but I'm not about to break secrecy regs just so you can get a new
>
> car."
>
I think i need more detail for 'twirling flash drive' to work. I am trying to
reconcile that element of relative modernity with the 'dear' etc.
>
> I know, I know, it sounds like a character out of a cheesy 1960s
>
> movie, but I got into the mode . . .
>
>
>
> Anyway, my question for that is whether it's obvious that they're
>
> talking about a company program which rewards people who can weasel
>
> secrets out of other employees.

I don't think it is clear but there is enough to keep me interested if it is
alt history. I'm not sure I'd believe it were a version of now/future - the
language is wrong unless Mr Super Suave is delusional.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
 * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)