From: garbage@crcomp.net

Jim Hetley  wrote:
> On Friday, May 16, 2014 2:57:03 AM UTC-4, William Vetter wrote:
>
>> >
>>
>> I wonder if you can begin a sentence with
>>
>> .32 calibre slugs were recovered.
>
> Well, I'd reword that as "The coroner recovered .32 caliber slugs . . ."

Your version certainly makes the facts clearer. And my own first draft
would probably sound quite similar.

OTOH William's version works better when a well known character uses a
bureaucratic (vague) voice to foster a feeling such as suspicion in the
the reader. The reader becomes suspicious of the other characters in a
dialogue because the reader knows that the well known character is
holding back and intentionally speaking in a vague voice.

The bureaucratic voice can also arouse a feeling of tension. Perhaps the
well know character uses a noncommittal bureaucratic tone to avoid a
prolonged dialogue with an character (a cop) who has the authority to
disrupt a tentative plan that was laid out earlier in the story.

LeCarre uses this technique in _Smiley's People_. A well known character
named George uses the bureaucratic voice to move things along during a
meeting and avoid the rigmarole.

In the end, I concur with William's opinion as stated in the "Writers to
learn by" thread. John LeCarre's a writer to learn by.

--- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05
 * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)