TZUTC: -0500   
   MSGID: 18.fidonet_memories@1:19/33 2d43e4bc   
   REPLY: 26764.memoryln@1:2320/105 2d41b35a   
   PID: Synchronet 3.21a-Win32 master/0e9549266 Sep 07 2025 MSC 1942   
   TID: SBBSecho 3.29-Win32 master/0e9549266 Sep 07 2025 MSC 1942   
   BBSID: TBOLTBBS   
   CHRS: CP437 2   
   FORMAT: flowed   
   Ed,   
      
    EV> Sunday morning the message was in Matthew chapter 6 about God   
    EV> and mammon. I wonder if their Chaplin ever preached about that   
    EV> topic to them.   
      
     It makes you wonder.   
      
     On a humorous note, that reminds me of a 3 funny church money jokes.   
      
   1) This man had never given much of anything, tithing or otherwise to    
   the church. The man had a heart condition, and lo and behold, he hit    
   the jackpot on a lottery ticket.   
      
     The family called the preacher, and wanted him to talk with the man,   
   as they were afraid that the news of the winning lottery ticket would   
   cause a fatal heart attack.   
      
     The preacher went to talk to the man, and said "Even though you have   
   not given much to the church, in tithing or otherwise, The Good Lord   
   has chosen to bless you, with a $100,000 winning lottery ticket".   
      
     The man replied "That means I can get a $10,000 tithe next Sunday".   
      
     You guessed it!! The preacher had a heart attack!!    
      
   2) A church needed money for a new building fund, but I guess they never    
   heard of the "Together We Build" campaign, used by many Baptist Churches.    
   The pastor wired all the pews with electricity prior to the service.   
      
     He got to the pulpit, and said "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel   
   led of The Lord to give $100 to the new building fund, stand up".    
      
     He pushed a button, and 20 people sprang to their feet (like they had   
   a choice??!! ).   
      
     "Excellent!!" the pastor said.   
      
     He continued with "Now, all you men and brethren, who feel led of The   
   Lord to give $500 to the new building fund, stand up".   
      
     He pushed another button, and 30 people sprang to their feet.   
      
     "Fine!! Fine!!" the pastor said.   
      
      Then, he said "Now, all you men and brethren who feel led of The Lord   
   to give $1000 to the new building, stand up".   
      
      He pulled the Master Control switch, and electrocuted 14 deacons!!    
      
   3) Another church was preaching on the building fund needs and tithing.   
   However, the offertory hymn chosen by the music director was "Jesus Paid   
   It All".    
      
     As a result, the offering plates were virtually empty.   
      
     The Music Director was fired.    
      
   Daryl   
      
   ... I'm only one step away from being rich...all I need is money.   
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