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   PID: Synchronet 3.19a-WGeorge,   
      
    ->   When lying down after a cardiac cath, you can't do that...except   
    -> on the bed. :P When I had that done years ago (I may request another   
    -> one soon), the nurse asked "Did we spring a leak??". I growled "No,   
    -> I just felt like peeing the bed". :P   
      
    CY> Fair enough.  Like when the doctor assks "How are we feeling today?" I   
    CY> might reply, "Well, can't speak for you, but I feel like crap! Whatcha   
    CY> gonna do to fix that?"   
      
     Or like the routine that the late Red Skelton did. He opened it with    
   "Nurses!! They mean well, but they'll drive you nuts!!".   
      
     Then, it's "Wake Up!! Time For Your Sleeping Pill!!".   
      
     Or "How Are We Today?? Did We Sleep Well?? Shall We Have Our Bath Now??".   
   He said "Old We almost fainted on that one, boy!!" .   
      
     I've reasoned that if they ever ask "Shall We Have Our Enema??", I'm   
   going to ask "Oh!! I get to give you one, too??!!" .   
      
     And, it could be like the story (which I likely have told before), of   
   the guy who was constantly "baby talked to" by the nurse, and he had just   
   about had enough of it.   
      
     So, he got the idea to order a thing of apple juice, because as sure   
   as the world, the nurse would come in, and ask for a urine sample. As   
   a side note, they do ask about "The Three P's -- Peeing, Pooping, and   
   Procreation".    
      
     Anyway, she brought in a specimen cup, and said "I'll step outside to   
   give some privacy". While her back is turned, he pours the now warm   
   apple juice into the specimen cup. When she came back, she concerningly   
   said "Oh!! It's a little dark!!".    
      
     That would mean one's urine is concentrated, or they were dehydrated.   
   If it's "clear as water", you're likely overhydrated, and having to   
   urinate every 5 minutes (think of being on Lasix or other diuretic).   
      
     Anyway, to her complaint about his urine being dark, he grabbed the   
   specimen cup, and said "That's OK!! I'll run it through again!!", and   
   swigged it right down!!   
      
     The nurse screamed, and fainted dead away...but, she never bothered   
   him again.    
      
     He also noted that the rooms normally are so cold, that you can hang   
   meat in them. As a side note, obviously, those gowns leave a lot to be    
   desired...unless you like looking at butt cheeks all day. Yet, "a butt   
   is a butt is a butt...but..." .   
      
     He said that one day, someone had left a fur coat in the room, and   
   that when he discovered it, he took the gown off, put on the coat, put   
   the gown back on, and went back to sleep. He added "When he woke up   
   before surgery, some darn fool was shaving the coat!!" .     
      
     Another guy was in the hospital for surgery, and was still in there   
   on his birthday. So, to cheer him up, his friends sent in a female   
   stripper. She walked into his room, with her fur coat on...and that   
   was all she had. She took it off, and she...naked as a jaybird...said   
   "Happy Birthday!! I'm here to give you the Super Sex!!".   
      
     He looked at her, thought a minute, and said "I'll have the soup,   
   please!!".    
      
   Daryl   
      
   ... Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery??   
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