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Joe,
JM> If I'm not mistaken, that's were Nero (who makes a burning program)
JM> is located.
There has to be a pun in there somewhere...never mind fiddling around
about making time to do a backup of your computer data.
JM> I'm in Huntington, WV, where Ohio, Kentucky and West Virginia meet on
JM> the Ohio River to the north (Ohio) and the Big Sandy River (Kentucky)
JM> to the west.
I think of the term Kenova -- Kentucky, Ohio, and Virginia. I have to
wonder why they needed a Virginia and a West Virginia.
JM> I have never had a board myself and don't have a clue how to run one
JM> or have the time.
You're too busy scarfing snacks at college football games .
JM> One Memories mod died, another replaced him and when he retired it
JM> was handed over to me, simply because I have been here a long time.
Not to mention by some "graft and corruption" (your own words ).
JM> This a very friendly board and my moderating is minimal. Mostly just
JM> a general reminder its about one's memories, regardless of how long or
JM> short that might be.
Three things fail as we get older. The first is memory ... ... ... ... ...
Darn!! I've forgotten the other two!! .
JM> In gist modern religion and politics is a no-no.
I would think things like "church bulletin bloopers" or "children's
sermon zingers" would be OK. Those are memories...except for the parents
whose kids made them.
I was at a church choir retreat years ago, and they used the church
bulletin bloopers to "break the ice". Here are a few that really made me
laugh...
1) The meeting of the Women's Temperance Union will be Wednesday morning
at 11am in the Fellowship Hall. Drinks will be served. (I'll bet they will)!!
2) We've had so many babies born in the church in the last year, that we'll
have baptism at the front and back of the church. Children will be baptized
at both ends. (And, I'm sure some of them will provide their own water)!!
3) This being Easter Sunday, we'll ask Mrs. B to come forward, and lay an
egg on the altar (Spread 'em wide, Honey!!).
4) For those of you who have children, and don't know it...we have a nursery
downstairs (they got pregnant by osmosis??!!).
5) All women wishing to become pregnant, please see the pastor in his study.
(The topic will be on being fruitful and multiplying).
6) The pancake breakfast will be held Saturday morning. All women wishing to
provide milk are requested to come early (thanks for the mammaries).
7) Not everyone who enters this church has been converted. So, please watch
your handbags and wallets (never mind guarding your debit cards).
JM> One can discuss ancient religion (was Odin better than Zeus?) or the
JM> like.
I liked the ones with the former Kudzu comic strip (its author, Doug
Marlette, was actually a pastor...he passed away a few years ago). Its
main character was Reverend Will B. Done (there's a name for you!!).
Anyway, there were 2 strips on the Reverend talking to The Lord about
him getting into politics.
In the first one, he asks The Lord if he should get into politics.
There's a huge earthquake, and out of the side of a cliff, appear the
words "NO WAY!!" .
In the second one, he asks The Lord what his chances are for becoming
the next President Of The United States. A door opens up in the floor,
and here's Satan, with a HUGE snowball in his hand. The Reverend laments
"You don't beat around the bush, do you Lord??".
Several years ago, Jerry Jordan released an album called "Phone Call
From God". Basically, the guy is watching The Tonight Show with Johnny
Carson (this tells you how old it is!!), and the phone rings. He asks
his wife to get it, and she tells him to get it himself.
Well, it turns out to be The Lord on the other end of the line, and
several topics are discussed...with several things of humor in there
(even though you don't "hear" The Lord's voice).
The Lord gave me the talent to memorize that (I think the entire
deal was 15 minutes), and I did it for the Interdenominational Worship
Service at the Single Square Dancers USA Labor Day Dance-A-Rama in
North Little Rock, Arkansas, back in 2007...just 4 months after my wife
had died, so I was still in mourning. I chose to just "work" that
weekend, and didn't square dance at all...even though it would've been
good therapy for me...not to mention exercise.
I used the talents The Lord gave me from being in drama and theatre
arts from high school and college 40 years ago to "get into character".
That is not as easy as it sounds, because you have to "stay in character",
for a play or otherwise. It's like Live TV -- bloopers don't get edited
out. Some of those blooper incidents are a scream...just do a search for
those on YouTube.
I had the folks roaring in laughter over some of the topics, and "my
reactions"...but when I sang "Come To Jesus" by Chris Rice, there wasn't
a dry eye in the house. One very attractive young lady came up to me
afterwards, with trembling lips, and said "If I talk to you right now,
I'm going to cry" (she looked like she was going to start bawling at any
minute). Over the years, I've been "a shoulder to cry on" for many folks...
but more often than not, I rarely have one when I need likewise.
That's why I do the hobbies of the BBS, ham radio, and square dancing...
even though much of the work with each revolves around the computer. They
help me forget about all the rest of the crap in my life, even if for just
a few hours. And, it's cheaper than going to a psychiatrist.
There were some other funny things on that album Jerry Jordan did...but,
the best one was "Overdrawn At The Bank". Basically, the guy's wife keeps
writing hot checks, and her husband has to go to the bank (embarrassed as
all get out), and try to work things out. He tried to explain to his wife
that you put the money in the bank at the start of the month, and deduct
the amount as you pay bills. When the balance gets to zero, quit writing
checks (some folks feel they can't be overdrawn if they still have checks
to write in the checkbook).
Well, after several times of this happening, he took his wife aside, and
said (in so many words) "If this happens again, I'll knock the thunder out
of you!!". He said he didn't see her for a week...then he caught a glimpse
of her, out of his left eye, where the swelling has started going down.
The late Red Skelton had also done this in a similar routine.
JM> Or was the HRE better than other empires?
If it'd been HER, that really would've opened a can of worms. :P With
the couple who are the Treasurers for the Arkansas State Square Dance
Federation, it's the guy's wife who does most of the work, as she's a
CPA. But, it sounded like at the meeting that her job title was
"Treasure Hers" instead of "Treasurer".
JM> But no modern political party is better than the other one
JM> (whichever that other one might be).
To me, neither of them are worth the powder to blow them up...and it's
a waste of good gunpowder. Besides, a group of baboons is known as a
CONGRESS (seriously!).
Or as the black comedian Nipsey Russell (not sure if he's still alive
or not) said on Match Game with Gene Rayburn (he's dead and gone) years
ago...
"Government can be strange, as we all have seen. For if PROGRESS means
GO FORWARD, what does CONGRESS mean??". That pretty much sums it up.
I'm glad you can still find videos of long gone game shows on YouTube.
The one episode of "What's My Line?" with panelists of Arlene Francis,
Groucho Marx, Dorothy Kilgallen, and Benett Cerf (with host John Daly
(not sure of the spelling)...was a riot. The contestant was a female
wrestler...and you can imagine Groucho's comments. As I recall, it
was done shortly before The Marx Brothers broke up, and Groucho went on
to do his own show, "You Bet Your Life"...which did rather well itself.
The look on Groucho's face, when he was about to make a smart-aleck
remark, was priceless!! Groucho was having the time of his life!!
Daryl
... Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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