TZUTC: -0500   
   MSGID: 379.fidonet-ls_arrl@1:2320/33 289cc4be   
   PID: Synchronet 3.19b-Win32 master/a2a9dc027 Jan  2 2022 MSC 1928   
   TID: SBBSecho 3.14-Win32 master/a2a9dc027 Jan  2 2022 MSC 1928   
   BBSID: TBOLT   
   CHRS: ASCII 1   
   The Honeymoon And More - Including The Early Years Of The Harmonics    
      
   And now, by special arrangement, from (dare we say it??!!) a trusted group   
   of Official Observers, the Cabot Nightflyers Net is proud to present "The   
   Honeymoon And More".   
      
   The first night together, they said that their love for each other was more   
   solid than a soldered coaxial connector, and that it'd withstand the test   
   of time, more surely than gasfield hardline.   
      
   After all, they wanted to zero beat their frequencies, to only pull each   
   others signal out of the pileup, as when the band opened up, they would   
   be each others first and only contact. Their devotion to each other was   
   to be more powerful than all of their combined signals.   
      
   And, they wanted to be sure that they resonated together, as they planned   
   to be together, to not go on separate beam headings; with only being   
   silent keys, would they part.   
      
   After all, concerning Radio, Ham could not resistor...wanting to inductor   
   into being a part of his family, and start a new one. And, that's why they   
   decided to get married, and do more than just "shack up".   
      
   And so, in the honeymoon suite...after turning down the lights, and putting   
   on some soft JT-65 music, ham and radio assumed positions of horizontal and   
   vertical polarization, as they got to intimately know each other.   
      
   He would run his hands over the dials and knobs, caressing them, pushing   
   the buttons, turning the knobs, trying to find the contacts that felt so   
   good...to ensure that they did it with frequency...mainly because he wanted   
   to work up her sideband.   
      
   But, they took care not to spread out the wide assortment of wedding   
   gifts...especially the many Morse Code keyers...on where they would sleep,   
   because they didn't want to become infested with bed bugs. Otherwise, that   
   would be a real pain in the brass.   
      
   And, even though it would involve CW ContinuousWriting, they did want to   
   spend time filling out the numerous QSL Thank You Cards to all who   
   attended the wedding ceremony. They would then be sorted out on the DX   
   Bureau there in the Honeymoon Suite, right next to the Amateur Television   
   setup, where they planned to watch special ham radio videos and DVD's that   
   evening.   
      
   Another thing that attracted Ham to Radio, was the out of band receive   
   capabilities. This way, they could listen to non-ham radio communications,   
   when they wanted to just "relax", or when band conditions were lousy. It   
   turns out that both of them were ardent golfing fans. Radio had 18 holes   
   for her ventilation slots, and that made it possible for them to keep cool   
   during fore play. But, they were not caddy in their relationship.    
      
   During anger or otherwise...they pledged not to beat each other with the   
   antennas from their vehicle, as they realized that was the quickest way to   
   come down with "van aerial disease". But, considering the atmosphere, I   
   doubt either was served a "Notice Of Violation"; and all newly married   
   couples are entitled to some privacy.   
      
   But, to celebrate their joyous union in Holy Telephony, they planned to   
   work the station from the Newfane DX Association out of Ransomville,   
   New York...with the callsign of N2SEX...November Two Sierra Echo Ex-Ray.   
      
   We understand this is one of the best CW stations that one can work,   
   especially during Field Day. But, for the honeymoon setting, I guess it   
   could be said that CW stood for "Continuous Whoopee" (hi hi).   
      
   Unfortunately, we understand that the time after the honeymoon apparently   
   wasn't all bliss. Asfor cravings, it wasn't for pickles and ice cream, as   
   you might think. Ham had to give up eating food, and having 807's around   
   Radio. This was because he invariably would share the food with her, and   
   the particles would drop into the ventilation slots, causing Radio to   
   become rather distorted in her speaking...and quite ill at times. That   
   usually led to morning sickness, which was a common occurrence...but not   
   what you would think.   
      
   It always happened between midnight and midday...but was more so   
   concentrated between just shortly after midnight and just before   
   sunrise. Every time just as the overnight, juicy, elusive, high   
   priority DX, or prized Dxpedition contact was about to be made and   
   logged, the bands would fail...or Ham would bump Radio with excitement,   
   and go off of frequency, losing the contact. Even worse, he'd hit the   
   power switch, and Radio would give him the Silent Treatment in anger.   
   Both were subject to band and mood changes at the discretion of the   
   propagationist relatives, which they felt were trying to hurt their   
   relationship.   
      
   Radio was also jealous of the 807's, because of their tubular nature;   
   but also because Ham had his drink mugs propped up with Beverage   
   Antennas. Radio threatened to short out the relationship if one of those   
   got poured on her, because she got too hot, with the exciters.   
      
   Exams, and RF safety evaluations, had to be constantly conducted, due to   
   expansion of each others capabilities, and radio was constantly being   
   poked, probed, and prodded with antenna analyzers, ammeters, watt meters,   
   and other such devices.   
      
   While waiting for the harmonics to be born, there were some tense   
   moments. Radio would groan "DX, DX, DX!! That's all you ever think   
   about!! You probably don't even remember the wedding night"!!    
      
   Ham replied "Not so, my dear. That was Feb. 12, 2012, when you helped me   
   work X-RayTango One, The Charlie Romeo Zero,The Alpha Charlie Six, and   
   the rare DXpeditions". Radio had to admit that Ham was right.   
      
   After the birth of the harmonics, which was amazingly on a clear   
   frequency, in room 5-9-9, the harmonics were wrapped in dipoles, to   
   protect the fragile antennas and knobs. Connectors had to be used to hold   
   the dipoles in place, otherwise the harmonics would be naturally exposed.   
      
   While they had a extended warranty, they had to be sure that the harmonics   
   were properly immunized, and to protect the family from infection by   
   parasitic elements. After all, the RF cough and sneeze noise splatter was   
   considered both messy, and unsanitary.   
      
   No word on the intensity or length of the labor process, how many harmonics   
   there were, their genders, names, or birth weights. That was unavailable at   
   net time, due to HIPPA regulations...in this case, Harmonic Information   
   Personal Protection Agreement.   
      
   As time passed, the harmonics would be instructed...digitally first...then   
   in voice. It turned out that Aunt Enna, with her son, Ray Dee Oh, and his   
   XYL, Olivia, would become trusted babysitters. Olivia was also very   
   attractive, and a cat lover...which made her purr-RTTY.   
      
   Ham and Radio were always having to packet...that is, the case with all the   
   supplies for the harmonics, whenever they went somewhere. They also had to   
   be sure that they didn't watch too much slow scan TV...as it was bad for   
   their displays. However, they learned to speak the frequencies, by number,   
   and name, rather quickly.   
      
   Also, they would have to give the harmonics a QSO party, as the harmonics   
   aged a year. Many contacts were made, from many modes, with QSL cards of   
   birthday wishes. Everyone seemed to have a Field Day with these parties.   
   Entertainment was provided by the digital ensembles of RTTY, JT-65, CW,   
   PSK31, Packet, and other Open Band Groups. With such a large crowd, the   
   events were usually outdoors, with participants having to use logs to   
   sit on. As the event usually went on into the evening hours, illumination   
   of the activities was brought by several satel lights, which had a wide   
   coverage area. But, caution had to be used with the evidence of certain   
   outdoor insects, so everyone was given a timely tick talk.   
      
   While the harmonics did learn early on how to be submersible in bathing,   
   care had to be taken with the dispensing of AC and DC brand juice, so   
   the parents and harmonics wouldn't float away, or be too emotionally   
   charged afterwards. Steps were also taken to prevent overheating, due   
   to extensive transmissions.   
      
   Cooking for all of their meals was done in a Digi-Pan, so the family was   
   well nourished, to say the least. No word on the exact cuisine, but they   
   did avoid eating ham. And, that was not because of kosher reasons, but   
   they didn't want to be thought of as cannibalistic. And, no word on if   
   any of the family had any digestive tract issues to deal with. But, with   
   rapidly changing technology, the gaseous tubes of their ancestors were   
   removed via electric surgery long ago.   
      
   To keep the family comfortable, all wore telegraphy outfits, the Mores   
   Coat brand. This also kept the harmonics keyed in to their parents   
   commands, and their parents were keyed into what the harmonics were doing.   
   This also kept the family from getting bugs, and becoming ill. The   
   harmonics were also taught, as their parents were, to constantly greet   
   their friends, with a CW continuous wave. At night, the shack bedrooms   
   were illuminated by a soft satel light, with soft JT-65 music helping   
   everyone rest easier.   
      
   Next, the harmonics would learn at 5, 13, and 20 words per week. Then,   
   they would be graded through five levels of education, Novice, Technician,   
   General, Advanced, and Amateur Extra. They had to learn good operating   
   habits, and to avoid being lids...as there were already enough for their   
   AC and DC brand juice glasses. They also had to listen to Radio, so she   
   wouldn't have to repeater self on what she said.    
      
   For the sake of privacy, there was no word on the amount of needing   
   changing of the dipoles, and switching to regular outfits. However, as   
   noted earlier, they preferred to go natural...especially on outdoor   
   events. Rumor has it they did learn to QRP rather quickly...probably from   
   all the AC and DC brand juice that they had been consuming over the years,   
   to keep from overheating.   
      
   As time passed, the family got bonded and grounded to each other. Thoughts   
   turned to as the harmonics got older, it'd be time to get their licenses,   
   so they too, could enjoy what their parents had. Every 10 years, ham,   
   radio, and the harmonics would go in to have their licenses renewed,   
   even though they wouldn't have to be re-examined in such great detail, as   
   they were initially.   
      
   Unfortunately, medical and other issues would show up every so often, and   
   they had to go to the AES or HRO clinics for treatment. And, wouldn't you   
   know it, there was a long wait before they were seen by the staff. However,   
   the care at the facilities was excellent, as those who worked at the   
   facilities were very knowledgeable about their work, and they were back at   
   their QTH's in record time. Thankfully, the need for major surgical   
   procedures was extremely rare.   
      
   No word on the need or extent of prescriptions, except for those to various   
   amateur radio publications (such as QST and CQ), clubs and organizations   
   (such as the American Radio Relay League and Courage Kenny Handi-Hams), or   
   nets (such as the National Traffic System Nets). The Ham Radio Equipment   
   Insurance sure made paying the medical bills a lot easier.   
      
   However, they each had to constantly review Part 97, to be sure they were   
   in the spirit of amateur radio. But, when harmonic violations did occur,   
   the Official Observers were diligent in letting their parents know of   
   them...and the continuous whipping CW paddles were definitely in use on   
   the harmonics backsides.   
      
   It's rumored that the battery fanny packs were removed before the   
   discipline was administered with the Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and   
   Ugerumph. And, while the harmonics may have felt that the discipline   
   stung like 10 50 hertz, their parents knew that the warnings before   
   discipline were always the SAME, and they made sure that the harmonics   
   wouldn't become tone deaf. And it seemed like the most likely time for the   
   discipline was to be needed was between 11am and 12 Noon on Wednesdays.    
      
   But, the discipline was not rough enough to the point of making their   
   signals bleed. And, the noise level of the harmonics in response to the   
   discipline was not known; and it's none of our business.   
      
   The more serious violations required the harmonics to go to court in   
   west, wearing their Mores Coat outfits. This was because the pink slips   
   were too skimpy for the sake of decency for the females...not to mention   
   they especially looked even worse on the males!! One also had to be   
   careful not to rile E. Hollingsworth, the Enforcement Judge. He had a   
   reputation of sending scofflaws to Hellschriber as punishment. No word   
   on how long they had to be there, or if the Wouff Hong, Rettysnitch, and   
   Ugerumph were in use by the bandwidth demons on the miscreants.   
      
   In time, it was time for the harmonics to date and marry...and for them   
   to follow in the footsteps of their parents. And so, with ham and radio   
   saying seven three (best wishes) to their harmonics, and eighty eight   
   (love and kisses) to each other...that is a look at the lives of ham and   
   radio, and their harmonics.   
   --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32   
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)   
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