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   PID: SmapiNNTPd/Linux/IPv6 kco 20240419   
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   TID: hpt/lnx 1.9 2024-03-02   
   Gleb Hlebov:   
      
   GH> Fun stuff which is also ecudative (sort of). :-)   
      
   Here are some I collected in alt.usage.english (in UTF-8):   
      
   (1)  [Eric K. Auld]  A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a   
        drink and then leaves.   
      
   (2)  [Eric K. Auld]  A dangling modifier walks into a bar. After   
        finishing a drink, the bartender asks it to leave.   
      
   (3)  [Eric K. Auld]  A question mark walks into a bar?   
      
   (4)  [Eric K. Auld]  Two quotation marks "walk into" a bar.   
      
   (5)  [Eric K. Auld]  A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar,   
        planning to drink.   
      
   (6)  [Eric K. Auld]  The bar was walked into by the passive   
        voice.   
      
   (7)  [Eric K. Auld]  Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar.   
        They sit. They drink. They leave.   
      
   (8)  [James Hogg]  A metathesis walks into a bra   
      
   (-)  [franzi]  (Then it must have been in its cups)   
      
   (9)  [Alan Curry]  A greengrocer walk's into a bar.   
      
   (10) [MC]  A spoonerism balks into a war.   
      
   (-)  [Joe Fineman]  After starring in the band for a while, he   
        droops himself into a stinker.   
      
   (11) [Iain Archer]  An en dashes into a barn.   
      
   (-)  [Peter Brooks]  That's nice, but it looks as if it's   
        dashing out, rather than into it.  An en would dash into a   
        nbar, but we'd not know where it was.   
      
   (12) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A colon walks into a bar and   
        evacuates.   
      
   (13) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  An exclamation point walks into a   
        bar!   
      
   (14) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  An umlaut walks into a bär.   
      
   (15) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A hyphen walks in-to a bar.   
      
   (16) [R H Draney]  Into a bar walks a chiasmus, and a chiasmus   
        walks into a bar.   
      
   (17) [MC]  An alliteration ambles into an alehouse.   
      
   (18) [MC]  A paraprosdokian walks into a bar. Of soap.   
      
   (19) [MC]  A prozeugma walks into a bar, a fight, a fist, a wall   
        and a hospital.   
      
   (20) [MC]  A snowclone walks into the mother of all bars.   
      
   (21) [Mark Brader]  A pair of parentheses walk (into a bar).   
      
   (22) [Mark Brader]  A Chinese ballet pun woks into a barre.   
      
   (23) [Mark Brader]  A lawyer walks into the bar and sues.   
      
   (24) [Mark Brader]  A syllepsis walks into a bar and a brick   
        wall.   
      
   (25) [Isabelle Cecchini]  A hypallage walks into a topless bar.   
      
   (26) [James Hogg]  A line of Shakespeare's walk'd into an inn   
      
   (-)  [James Hogg]  And the surly innkeeper said:   
      
            A foutre for thee, whoreson that thou art,   
            And for the jade on which thou didst ride in.   
      
   (27) [Sproz]  omg a TnAjrrr wks n2 a bar   
      
   (28) [Anton Shepelev]  The double negative didn't walk into no   
        bar.   
      
   (29) [CT]  The reflexive pronoun walked into the bar itself.   
      
   (30) [Iain Archer]  The missing vinculum was last seen walking   
        into a bar.   
      
   (31) [Anton Shepelev]  A reclusive verb walked into the bar and   
        barred the door.   
      
   (32) [Jerry Friedman]  An anacoluthon walks into a bar, is how   
        this joke starts.   
      
   (33) [Jerry Friedman]  An aposiopesis walks into a...   
      
   (34) [Jerry Friedman]  I'm not even going to tell you how a   
        paraleipsis walks into a bar.   
      
   (35) [Jerry Friedman]  A surrealist walks into a bar papered   
        with snowflakes and lightly browned in snake oil.   
      
   (36) [Jerry Friedman]  A man de habla Spanglish camina into a   
        cantina.   
      
   (37) [Jerry Friedman]  Un chevreau dans un Francais classe   
        marche dans a une barre.   
      
   (38) [Jerry Friedman]  Miss Thistlebottom walks into a bar and   
        asks whomever works there quickly to serve her a mug of   
        beer.   
      
   (39) [Jerry Friedman]  An eggcorn walks enter a bar.   
      
   (40) [Jerry Friedman]  A non-rhotic man walks into a bah.   
      
   (41) [Jerry Friedman]  Davy Crockett walks into a b'ar.   
      
   (42) [J.J. Lodder]  Dirac walks into h bar.   
      
   (43) [CT]  A double-entendre walks into a bar and asks for a   
        beer.  So the barman gives him one.   
      
   (44) [James Hogg]  Sometimes the man walks into the bar, and   
        sometimes the bar walks into the man, Dude.   
      
   (45) [MC]  A dangling participle walks into a bar, bartender   
        says, "Why the long face?"   
      
   (46) [James Hogg]  Walking into a bar, the man behind the bar   
        was surprised to see a dangling participle.   
      
   (47) [musika]  A non sequitur sees a group going into a bar but   
        doesn't go in.   
      
   (48) [MC]  An ellipsis...bar.   
      
   (49) [musika]  A superlative goes into a bar none.   
      
   (50) [MC]  A left-handed bastard walks into a bar sinister.   
      
   (51) [Robin Bignall]  Standing at the door of a bar, a full stop   
        does nothing, even after a period.   
      
   (52) [David Hatunen]  A termite walks into a bar and loudly   
        asks, "Where's the bartender?"   
      
   (53) [Anton Shepelev]  A paradox walked into a bar but didn't   
        drink.   
      
   (54) [Anton Shepelev]  An antonym walked out of the bar and   
        headed for the theatre.   
      
   (55) [MC]  An anastrophe bar a into walks.   
      
   (56) [MC]  An epanalepsis walks into a bar, does an epanalepsis.   
      
   (57) [MC]  Essex man walks into a bar innit.   
      
   (58) [Jerry Friedman]  A poet walks into a bar.   
      
                A metaphor, friends, is a star.   
                   It always sounds neater   
                   In anapest meter,   
                And the rhyme shouldn't mar it or jar.   
      
   (59) [David Kaye]  An assibilation walkssss into a bar.   
      
   (60) [David Kaye]  A symantic walks into a bar, wondering what   
        it means.   
      
   (61) [James Hogg]  A scholar of Proto-Germanic roots *welk- into   
        a bar.   
      
   (62) [James Hogg]  0.98697 standard atmosphere walks into a bar.   
      
   (63) [Mike Lyle]  ? would heron stone walk into a bar   
      
   (64) [musika]  .only if it was irony   
      
   (65) [Peter Duncanson]  An official government barometer walks   
        into a bar, makes a measurement and asks to see the   
        manager. Manager arrives. Government barometer says "Your   
        bar is set too high".   
      
   (66) [MC]  Celine Dion walks into a bar.  Bartender says, "Why   
        the long face?"   
      
   (67) [Jerry Friedman]  Another poet walks into a bar and says,   
        "May there be no moaning."   
      
   (68) [Jerry Friedman]  It's a cleft sentence that walks into a   
        bar.   
      
   (69) [R H Draney]  Mrs Malaprop tergiversates into a bar.   
      
   (70) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A dyslexic walks into a rab.   
      
   (71) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A phonetician walks into a [ba:r].   
      
   (72) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A ROT13 user walks into a one.   
      
   (73) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A stutterer walks into a b-b-b-ba-   
        ba-ba-bar.   
      
   (74) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A telegrapher walks into a   
        -··· ·- ·-· .   
      
   (75) [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A German walks into an   
        Alkoholausschankabendlokal.   
      
   (76) [James Hogg]  Roget walks into a canteen, restaurant,   
        rôtisserie, cafeteria, grill-room, buffet, café, estaminet,   
        posada, bodega, bar, saloon, speakeasy, shebeen.   
      
   (77) [J.J. Lodder]  Et, and all his al., overran a bar.   
      
   (78) [R H Draney]  Rod Speed claims to walk into a bar.  Good   
        luck trying to establish that.   
      
   (-)  [R H Draney]  It refers to a troll who was hanging around   
        these parts while the list was being compiled...his answer   
        to every point was the same:   
      
        Other poster: I have a pair of brown shoes.   
        Rod:  You go right on believing that.  Good luck trying to   
              prove it.   
      
   (79) [Athel Cornish-Bowden]  A Greek walks into a mpar.   
      
   (-)  [Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  Great minds run in small circles!   
        I had this one also on my list but forgot to post it.   
        mpummer!  ntamn!   
      
   (80) [Athel Cornish-Bowden]  An Afghan doesn't walk into a bar.   
      
   (81) [James Hogg]  A ram-raider drives into a bar.   
      
   (82) [Leslie Danks]  Able was I ere I walked into el bar.   
      
   (83) [musika]  A sheep walks into a ba-ba bar.   
      
   (84) [musika]  A Beachboy walks into a ba-ba-bar ba-ba-ba-ran.   
      
   (85) [musika]  A Beachboy ran into a ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba.   
      
   (86) [Percival P. Cassidy]  A Welshman walks into a bar, isn't   
        it?   
      
   (87) [Peter Duncanson]  The Beach Boys walk into a bar and start   
        singing. They are ejected and barred for life after the   
        first verse of their song:   
      
           A Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann   
           Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann   
           (Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)   
           Oh Barbara Ann take my hand   
           (Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)   
           Barbara Ann   
           (Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann)   
           You got me rockin' and a rollin'   
           Rockin' and a reelin' Barbara Ann   
           Bar bar bar bar Barbar Ann   
      
   (88) [Mike Lyle]  If a protasis walked into a bar, an apodosis   
        would follow it.   
      
   (89) [John Dunlop]  A bar is what the pseudo-cleft walked into.   
      
   (90) [John Dunlop]  One does not simply walk into a bar.   
      
   (91) [John Dunlop]  A musician segues into a bar.   
      
   (92) [MC]  A Canadian walks into a bar, eh?   
      
   (93) [Anton Shepelev]  An indirect complement walks into the   
        bar.   
      
   (94) [Anton Shepelev]  A transitive verb walks the bar.   
      
   (95) [Anton Shepelev]  An exclamation mark walks into the bar   
        but gets so drunk it melts into a question mark.  (idea not   
        mine)   
      
   (96) [Anton Shepelev]  An old-fashioned programmer GOes TO the   
        bar.   
      
   (97) [Anton Shepelev]  An assembly programmer unconditionally   
        JMPs into the bar.   
      
   (98) [CT]  A 13 year-old Jewish boy walks into a bar mitzvah.   
      
   (99) [John Dunlop]  A periphrasis will walk into a bar.   
      
   (100)[John Dunlop]  They walk into a bar, the right dislocation   
        and the cataphora.   
      
   (101)[John Dunlop]  The left dislocation and the anaphora, they   
        walk into a bar too.   
      
   (102)[John Dunlop]  A Scotsman walks into a bar, so he does.   
      
   (103)[John Dunlop]  A Scotsman walks out of a bar.   
      
   (-)  [Mike Lyle]  Gosh! You're right: it _is_ almost panto   
        season.   
      
   (104)[Sproz]  A programmer walks into foo bar.   
      
   (105)[MC]  A lawyer is thrown out of... Er, is disbarred.   
      
   (106)[bob]  Sometime after a lawyer is called to the bar.   
      
   (107)[Robin Bignall]  A minuscule walked into a bar and nobody   
        noticed.   
      
   (108)[R H Draney]  An OOP developer defines a Bar class with a   
        WalksInto method and everything else just sort of happens   
        by itself.   
      
   (109)[Sproz]   
        foo = new bar();   
        foo.walksInto(new oopProgrammer);   
      
   (110)[R H Draney]  (after Laura proposed to preserve this thread   
        for posterity) Laura Spira walked right into a bar and   
        drove the shadows away.   
      
   (111)[Laura Spira]  For factual accuracy, your entry should   
        read: Laura Spira walked into a bar and asked for anything   
        with a Glen in it.   
      
   (-)  [Duggy]  Best thread bar none.   
      
   (112)[Isabelle Cecchini]  A Cockney walks into a Jack.   
      
   (113)[Isabelle Cecchini]  The Cockney walks into a Jack because   
        it's 'appy Hhhour.   
      
   (114)[Alan Mackenzie]  An eszet walks into a ssar.   
      
   (115)[occam]  A split infinitive decides to boldly walk into a   
        bar.   
      
   (116)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A dyslexic rabbi walks into a bar   
        and yells "Yo!"   
      
   (117)[Robin Bignall]  A dirty old man sidles up to a bra and   
        claims dyslexia.   
      
   (118)[Percival P. Cassidy]  An anacoluthon walks into -- I saw   
        him enter the bar.   
      
   (119)[Percival P. Cassidy]  A paradiplosis walks into a bar,   
        walks into a bar and orders a stiff drink.   
      
   (120)[R H Draney]  An anagram talks a rainbow.   
      
   (121)[MC]  Another anagram awaits lob rank, bows a rank tail,   
        irks a law baton, knits a bawl oar, knobs a rat wail, riots   
        a lab wank, rows anal batik, wanks labia rot and wants   
        koala rib.   
      
   (122)[David D S]  Equivocation walks into a bar.  Ouch!   
      
   (123)[Robin Bignall]  A paraprosdokian walks into a bar, trips,   
        and gets beamed up by Scotty.   
      
   (124)[Frank S]  My friend the shape-shifter was walking down the   
        street when he turned into a bar.   
      
   (125)[Jerry Friedman]  "Bar walks into man" is news.   
      
   (126)[Mark Brader]  Two crotchets walk into a bar.  They start   
        waltzing, but then they need to rest.   
      
   (127)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  (about the compiler of this   
        collection) Anton walked into a mess of bar jokes and   
        organized them.   
      
   (128)[MC]  Davy Crockett walked into a bar and kilt 'im when he   
        was only three.   
      
   (129)[Evan Kirshenbaum]  (idea by LalitaZ) Into a bar Yoda   
        walks.   
      
   (130)[Percival P. Cassidy]  A Hindi speaker walks a bar into.   
      
   (131)[Evan Kirshenbaum]  A psych experiment walks into a bar.   
      
   (132)[Christian Weisgerber]  Walks a German into a bar.   
      
   (133)[Christian Weisgerber]  Kommt ein Deutscher in eine Bar.   
      
   (134)[Evan Kirshenbaum]  (walks-into s-expression bar)   
      
   (135)[Evan Kirshenbaum]  stack-machine bar walks-into   
      
   (136)[glasshouse510]  A reverse Pole a bar walks into.   
      
   (137)[Dr Peter Young]  Is that Forth for: Bar a into walks   
        man a?   
      
   (138)[Evan Kirshenbaum]  No, in Forth it would be: man a bar a   
        into walks   
      
   (139)[Mark Brader]  (Inspired by a suggestion from Steve Summit)   
        walk foo > bar   
      
   (140)[Nancy Friedman]  A clumsy ballerina walks into a barre.   
      
   (141)[Tom]  A subject and a verb disagrees about which bar to   
        walk into.   
      
   (142)[Tom]  An Oxford comma hops, skips, and jumps into a bar.   
      
   (143)[Tom]  A pleonasm enters into a bar.   
      
   (144)[Tom]  The subjunctive would walk into a bar, were it in   
        the mood.   
      
   (145)[Tom]  A hyphen, drunk after leaving the bar, mistakenly   
        walks-into a phrasal verb.   
      
   (146)[Tom]  A colon and a semicolon walk into a bar: the colon   
        has a gutful; the semicolon orders a half.   
      
   (147)[Tom]  A syllepsis walks out on its wife and into a bar.   
      
   (148)[Tom]  A gang of commas walk into a bar and order   
        everything on the menu.   
      
   (149)[Tom]  A prescriptivist walks into a tavern, because of   
        course 'bar' means the counter at which drink is served   
        rather than the establishment itself.  He wonders why   
        nobody else is there.   
      
   (150)[Tom]  A meaning walks into a bar and orders a double.   
      
   (151)[Tom]  A portmanteau walks into a barmaid.   
      
   (152)[Duchesse]  An ampersand walks into a Bar & Grill.   
      
   (153)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]           ·  ·  ·   
           A blind person walks into a  ·     ·· .   
                                              ·   
      
   (154)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  .rab a otni sklaw weJ A   
      
   (155)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  As edited by Peter Young:   
      
           r.  s   e   
           a   k   s   
           b   l   e   
               a   n   
           a   w   i   
                   h   
           o   n   C   
           t   a   
           n   m   A   
           i   
      
   (156)[Reinhold {Rey} Aman]  A Russian walks into a 6ap.   
      
   (157)[Anton Shepelev]  A Ukrainian walks into a shinok.   
      
   (158)[Sproz]  A palindrome walks into a bar wearing a dull hat.   
        The barman says "a man, a plan, a bar - a banal panama".   
      
   (-)  [Athel Cornish-Bowden]  This is from Geoff Pullum at   
        Language Log: "The past, the present, and the future walked   
        into a bar. It was tense."   
      
   (159)[occam]  The past, the present, and the future walked into   
        a bar. 'Time gentlemen please' said the barman.   
      
   (160)[occam]  The past, the present, and the future walked into   
        a bar. They just missed each other.   
      
   (161)[Helen Lacedaemonian]  The past, the present, and the   
        future walked into a bar. One drank until he fell down, the   
        second is the designated driver, and the third will be   
        stuck with the bill.   
      
   (162)[Helen Lacedaemonian]  The past, the present, and the   
        future walked into a bar on Christmas. "What the dickens?"   
        said the bartender. "You missed last call. No more spirits   
        will be served tonight."   
      
   (163)[James Hogg]  The historic present walks into a bar.   
      
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