MSGID: 1:317/3 63d8996b   
   PID: hpt/lnx 1.9.0-cur 2019-01-08   
   TID: hpt/lnx 1.9.0-cur 2019-01-08   
    How to reduce the temptation to cheat: Empathy    
    Putting yourself in your partner's shoes will make you less likely to be   
   unfaithful    
      
     Date:   
         January 30, 2023   
     Source:   
         University of Rochester   
     Summary:   
         Adopting a partner's perspective increases commitment and desire for   
         the partner, while simultaneously decreasing sexual and romantic   
         interest in alternative mates, according to a new study by a team   
         of psychologists.   
      
         The findings suggest that perspective taking discourages people   
         from engaging in behaviors that may hurt their partners and damage   
         their relationship.   
      
      
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   FULL STORY   
   ==========================================================================   
   The beneficial effects of putting yourself in someone else's shoes   
   are well known. But can doing so in romantic relationships reduce the   
   temptation to cheat? A team of psychologist from Reichman University   
   in Israel and the University of Rochester in upstate New York put that   
   question to the test in a series of three double-blind, randomized   
   experiments.   
      
      
   ==========================================================================   
   The answer? Yes, it can.   
      
   Perspective-taking -- or putting yourself in our partner's shoes --   
   not only reduces the temptation to cheat but inoculates against other   
   partnership- destroying behaviors, according to the study, published in   
   the Journal of Sex Research.   
      
   Why do people cheat on their partners?  People are unfaithful for a   
   variety of reasons, according to the study's lead author, Gurit Birnbaum,   
   a professor of psychology at Reichman University (IDC, Herzliya). Birnbaum   
   notes that people may be satisfied with their relationships, yet still   
   may betray their partners.   
      
   Context is key.   
      
   "People often cheat not because they planned to do so," Birnbaum   
   says. "Rather, the opportunity presented itself and they were too depleted   
   -- too tired, too drunk, too distracted -- to fight the temptation."   
   Coauthor Harry Reis, a psychology professor at the University of   
   Rochester, agrees there are multiple reasons for cheating: men are more   
   likely to cheat because they feel their sexual needs are not being met,   
   he says. Women, on the other hand, are more likely to cheat because they   
   feel that their emotional needs aren't met.   
      
   Study findings: practicing empathy can reduce the temptation to cheat One   
   way to practice empathy is to try to adopt another person's perspective.   
      
   Across three studies, the 408 total participants (213 Israeli women   
   and 195 Israeli men, ranging in age from 20-47) were randomly assigned   
   to either adopt the perspective of their partner or not. All study   
   participants had to be in a monogamous, mixed-sex (heterosexual)   
   relationship of at least four months. As part of the experiments,   
   the participants evaluated, encountered, or thought about attractive   
   strangers while the psychologists recorded their expressions of interest   
   in these strangers, as well as their commitment to and desire for their   
   current partners.   
      
   The researchers concluded that adopting a partner's perspective increased   
   commitment and desire for the partner, while simultaneously decreasing   
   sexual and romantic interest in alternative mates. The findings suggest   
   that perspective taking discourages people from engaging in behaviors   
   that may hurt their partners and damage their relationship.   
      
   "Perspective taking doesn't prevent you from cheating, but it lessens   
   the desire to do so," says Reis. Ultimately, he says, cheating means   
   "prioritizing one's own goals over the good of the partner and the   
   relationship, so seeing things from the other person's perspective gives   
   one a more balanced view of these situations."  According to Birnbaum, the   
   findings can help people understand how to resist short-term temptations:   
   "Active consideration of how romantic partners may be affected by   
   these situations serves as a strategy that encourages people to control   
   their responses to attractive alternative partners and derogate their   
   attractiveness."  The team did not test if the benefits of perspective   
   taking extended to the participants' romantic partners who were notpart   
   of the experiment. But the researchers have a hunch, because perspective   
   taking generally promotes empathy, understanding, closeness, and caring.   
      
   According to Birnbaum, both partners may feel more satisfied with the   
   relationship and therefore be less likely to cheat, even if only one   
   partner adopts the tested strategy. Besides reducing the likelihood of   
   infidelity, perspective taking motivates people to have compassion for   
   their partners' emotions and to seek to strengthen the bond with that   
   partner, thereby boosting the existing relationship.   
      
   "People invariably feel better understood, and that makes it easier to   
   resolve disagreements, to be appropriately but not intrusively helpful,   
   and to share joys and accomplishments," says Reis. "It's one of those   
   skills that can help people see the 'us' -- rather than the 'me and you'   
   -- in a relationship."  Reichman University's Tammy Bachar, Gal Levy, and   
   Kobi Zholtack were also part of the team. Their research was supported   
   by grants from the Israel Science Foundation and the Binational Science   
   Foundation.   
      
       * RELATED_TOPICS   
             o Mind_&_Brain   
                   # Psychology # Relationships # Social_Psychology   
                   # Behavior # Consumer_Behavior # Racial_Issues #   
                   Gender_Difference # Perception   
       * RELATED_TERMS   
             o Bisexuality o Social_psychology o Platonic_love o   
             Homosexuality o Energy_(healing_or_psychic_or_spiritual)   
             o Synesthesia o Narcissism o Aggression   
      
   ==========================================================================   
   Story Source: Materials provided by University_of_Rochester. Original   
   written by Sandra Knispel. Note: Content may be edited for style and   
   length.   
      
      
   ==========================================================================   
   Journal Reference:   
      1. Gurit E. Birnbaum, Tammy Bachar, Gal F. Levy, Kobi Zholtack,   
      Harry T.   
      
         Reis. Put Me in Your Shoes: Does Perspective-Taking Inoculate   
         Against the Appeal of Alternative Partners? The Journal of Sex   
         Research, 2022; 1 DOI: 10.1080/00224499.2022.2150998   
   ==========================================================================   
      
   Link to news story:   
   https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2023/01/230130161336.htm   
      
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