Hello Everybody,   
      
   And now, back by popular demand, more bar jokes!   
      
                          * * *   
      
   A mouse with a tiny accordion and a hamster in a   
   tuxedo walk into a bar.   
      
   They tell the bartender that they'll do their act each   
   night for drinks.   
      
   They're hired and are a big hit the first night -- the   
   mouse plays the accordion like Lawrence Welk, and the   
   hamster sings like Tony Bennett.   
      
   The second night an outraged patron tells the bartender,   
   "Fire 'em!  It's a phy act!  The hamster can't sing --   
   the mouse is a ventriloquist!"   
      
                          * * *   
      
   A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Quick,   
   give me a beer before the fight starts."   
      
   He drinks it down, then says, "Give me another one before   
   the fight starts."   
      
   After drinking that one, he orders another one "before   
   the fight starts."   
      
   The bartender says, "Hey, when are you going to pay for   
   those beers?"   
      
   The guy says, "Uh on, the fight has just started ..."   
      
                          * * *   
      
   A seal enters a bar.   
      
   The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"   
      
   The seal answers, "Anything but a Canadian Club."   
      
                          * * *   
      
   A guy walks into a bar with a large chunk of asphalt on   
   his shoulder.   
      
   "What'll you have?" asks the barkeep.   
      
   "Two beers," says the patron.  "One for me and one for   
   the road."   
      
                          * * *   
      
   A Roman walks into a bar and says, "Gkive me a martinus."   
      
   The bartender says, "You mean a martini?"   
      
   The Roman says, "No thanks, just a single."   
      
                          * * *   
      
   And now, the best for last -   
      
   A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything   
   a man says after that is the beginning of a NEW argument.   
      
   --Lee   
      
      
    * SLMR 2.1a * Don't confuse me with your mind, my facts are made up.-JW   
      
   --- Maximus 3.01   
    * Origin: Xaragmata / Adelaide SA telnet://xaragmata.mooo.com (3:800/432)