-=> Quoting Sean Rima to Nancy Backus on 10-01-06  00:32 <=-   
      
    > were worse.  His reasoning went something like that boys are more   
    > straight forward in their defiance, where girls are more sneaky, so you   
    > think that things are under control and then you suddenly realize that   
    > they really aren't!  They both can really be monsters... or great kids,   
    > depending on which moment we are looking at!     
    > There are definitely benefits to being past that stage in our lives!  :)   
      
    SR> There are benefits, to knowing the past. I think I would have had all   
    SR> girls. He is as sneaky as any female (god what have I done) and he is   
    SR> having problems as well stemming to his past which don't help   
      
   The two could well be connected...  Sneaky can be a response to   
   situations.  Not necessarily anything you would have (or could have)   
   done, either.   I'm not sure I totally agree with my husband's   
   reasoning, either... I've seen more variation just across the board,   
   either sex, than particularly male or female.  Catty, sneaky males...   
   and brash, openly defiant females...  and lots in-between!   
      
   We only had the one child, a boy (not by choice, but that was all we   
   could have)... but my siblings more than made up for us, with more than   
   30 nieces and nephews just on my side of the family...!  And we're a   
   close enough family (not always geographically, though) that I've had   
   plenty of dealings with most of them, at one time or another.    
      
   Sometimes one can inculcate, or at least encourage, openness in a kid.    
   Trust plays a large part in that... but, as we've been saying, when the   
   kid gets to be a certain age, it almost needs to be an adult other than   
   a parent, just because of the dynamics of becoming one's own person as   
   an adult that necessitates a separation from the parent.  The parent-   
   child relationship needs to evolve into an adult-adult relationship, to   
   stay healthy (or to become healthy, in some cases).  And that is usually   
   a painful process...  usually survived, though... :)   
      
   ttyl       neb   
      
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