DC>>>> That's another variation that I've never run into!   
      
    SC>>> I temped in family court for about 9 months so I saw all kind of   
    SC>>> variations.   
      
    RY>> I know of a case with a friend of mine where the   
    RY>> great-grandmother has custody at the moment... good thing too,   
    RY>> she's a gem.. she's not too far from my age, but married and had   
    RY>> kids young, as did her daughter, as did /her/ daughter... It;s an   
    RY>> unusual situation, but it's what's best for the child..   
      
    SC> I do think they *try* to keep the kids in the family somehow rather   
    SC> than put them with strangers. I think that could be best too as long   
    SC> as they investigate   
    SC> the family member they are giving them too.   
      
    SC> From all the horror stories I hear about how foster parents mistreat   
    SC> the kids in their care, I would hate to see any kid go into a foster   
    SC> home. In that system, the possibility to abuse is there because a lot   
    SC> of people go into it for the money they get each month instead of   
    SC> their concern for kids. Also, there aren't enough case workers to keep   
    SC> track of the kids to make sure they are being treated right.   
      
      
    DC>>>> Supposedly, I had "joint custody".  That was joke...   
      
    SC>>> That is sad that the courts don't enforce their own orders in   
    SC>>> these cases.   
      
    RY>> Sometimes, you have to help them do that. I know that was true in   
    RY>> my case..   
      
    SC> In what way?   
      
   Once you have acquired those rights, you have to live up to your part and   
   insist on carrying out them to your best extent. You can't slack, tkae a   
   weekend off just because you fell like it, if you'r in it for thelong haul,   
   thrn you keep your side of the deal.   
      
   I've seen way too many fathers that are half-assed about visitation, only   
   doing it when they feel like it, and that does no one any good.   
      
   When I had joint custody of my daughter, I made sure I took the time I could   
   with her (and woring weekends this was not always easy) and also made sure   
   that I kept on as good a relationship with her mother as I could possibly   
   have in her best interest.   
      
   Not that I'm trying to say that I'm the best dad, as I know I'm not, but... My   
   daughter thinks I am, and that's what counts :).   
      
   Maintaining a good relationship with the other parent is not always easy.   
   For a long time Katy's (my daughter) mom did not like me and resented me for   
   making the decision to divorce. That said, and that was 10 years ago, the   
   first person she called when she had a flayt tire in the rain, was me,   
   Monday. I can live with that. we're amicable, and that's cool.   
      
   In the long run, as Katy's 20, going on 21, it's worked out well, She's a   
   bright young lady, and very practical. while she does not always make the best   
   decisions in the world, and currently is learning that actions have   
   consequenes, at least she knew that concept from a very early age.   
      
   I had a stepson that was in foster care (before I got married, and a really   
   long story) and it did him no good at all. currently he's just getting out of   
   prison for the umpteenth time.. I think, if he gets arrested one  more time,   
   he gets branded as a career criminal, and gets the book thrown at him.. On can   
   only hope, he does not do well with freedom and responsibility, and does do   
   well in the structured prison environment. Sad to say, but there it is..   
      
   ---   
    * Origin: Ray's Rocket Shop - Out to Launch (1:3613/48)