-=> Quoting Damon A. Getsman to All on 05-05-16  07:02 <=-   
      
   Hmmm.... it appears that nobody else has even tried to touch this in my   
   absence.... ;)     
      
    DAG> Okay, so I've got some issues with my son that I've really got to   
    DAG> get to the bottom of, and I guess I'm a bit stumped on what to do with   
    DAG> it all.  My son's been getting in trouble more and more lately,   
    DAG> primarily in his afterschool program.  He's hated that program for a   
    DAG> very long time.  At first I thought it was primarily because it was   
    DAG> cutting into his videogame time, but I'm really starting to think that   
    DAG> there's a lot more going on there than I was aware of.   
      
   Not terribly surprising, actually...   
      
    DAG> Unfortunately he's ended up falling in with some of the more dirty   
    DAG> mouthed and trouble prone kids in the school there.  I think it's   
    DAG> probably because they move around a lot, and when the kids were looking   
    DAG> for new friends he ended up finding them due to the fact that everybody   
    DAG> else already had a bunch of friends from previous years at that school.    
      
   It might also be partly that they'd be likely candidates for the   
   afterschool program, due to family situations and/or being kept after   
   for detention, or such... along with his being somewhat an odd man out   
   himself...    
      
    DAG> I can't very well expect him to finish the school year without any   
    DAG> friends, so I'm trying to help teach him to make the right choices   
    DAG> when those friends are doing things that'll get others in trouble.   
      
   And those friends probably also need to have friends, as well..   
   hopefully ones to help them stay OUT of trouble...  :)  It's a good   
   thing to be teaching your son how to manage such friends, and the   
   temptations they present... :)   
      
    DAG> I think he's been doing pretty well with it, all things considered,   
    DAG> but there may be some bias going on with the staff there, as well.    
    DAG> I don't know if it's some form of racism or another bias (my son   
    DAG> being half African), but whatever it is I think I'm going to have   
    DAG> to go talk to the school about it.   
      
   Possibly the staff at the afterschool program aren't happy to be stuck   
   with the job... they still shouldn't be taking it out on the kids,   
   though...    
      
    DAG> One of the first things that happened is that somebody left   
    DAG> a purse with money in it laying around at the school and he, plus one   
    DAG> of his friends (whom I really don't trust) ended up being around it at   
    DAG> one point.  When somebody found out that there was missing cash from   
    DAG> there, they ended up looking for clues from the class as to where it   
    DAG> went.  Turns out that most of the class fingered my son and his friend   
    DAG> about it.  I trust my son for the most part, but I don't know if maybe   
    DAG> his friend did something and took that money (I really don't trust the   
    DAG> kid or his mom-- the kid alone is a bucket of unending lies to try to   
    DAG> have something interesting to say); or maybe he did get my son to try   
    DAG> taking something...  It's so hard to know for sure.   
      
   If your son didn't show up with money whose provenence was sketchy, he   
   probably wasn't the one to have taken any... the other kid possibly...   
   But also possible that the allegedly stolen money wasn't there in the   
   first place...  Why would a teacher/aide leave a purse just lying   
   around, and not properly secured in that sort of setting, anyway....?!     
   As you say, it's hard to know for sure what the real story is.    
      
    DAG> After that, I ended up going in to pick him up one afternoon and   
    DAG> showed up right at the same time that one of the staff who I think   
    DAG> might have a bit of a grudge against my son was pulling him and two of   
    DAG> his friends out of class in order to 'make them stop being so   
    DAG> negative.'  She was literally shaking with rage, and the kids were all   
    DAG> telling stories about how she'd pushed one of them. I don't know what   
    DAG> happened with that, due to not being there to see it, but I do know   
    DAG> that whenever you've got somebody in charge of others who is shaking   
    DAG> with rage like that that something bad happened and could easily have   
    DAG> triggered her into some inappropriate actions, too.  She had just sat   
    DAG> them down to write some sentence about being negative 100 times, but I   
    DAG> was picking him up at the same time.  I ended up grounding him for that   
    DAG> one, primarily because I knew that something bad had happened, and I   
    DAG> figured it was as good of a time as any to try to make sure that my son   
    DAG> is steering clear of others' negative behavior, even if it is funny or   
    DAG> amusing at the time.  Seems to have worked well here.   
      
   I think you handled that one well, too... One does wonder about the   
   staff worker, though... Even if the kids were being very negative, and   
   causing a scene, she's the adult... and school is not the place to be   
   letting the kids get to you... Sounds like they need (as we've been   
   discussing in the memories echo) a special screaming room for the staff   
   to use... but at appropriate times.... ;)  Parents learn that screaming   
   at kids is counterproductive and inappropriate, at least they should be   
   learning that, and teachers and school staff need to also...  :)   
      
   Splitting to another message.... :)   
      
   ttyl          neb   
      
   ... "I just must be monumentally naive."  "You are."   
      
   ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20   
   --- Platinum Xpress/Win/WINServer v3.0pr5   
    * Origin: DocsPlace.org Fidonet Since 1991 | QWK VIA Web / Telne (1:123/140)