Jeff,   
      
   JS> I go to the doctors as little as possible. Recently though I decided   
   JS>to "Bite The Bullet" and drive myself to the hospital. I wasn't in pain   
   JS>really. Just didn't feel right. Turns out (They told me) that I had a total   
   JS>blockage of blood feeding the heart muscles. And that I made it to the   
   JS>hospital   
   JS>with minutes to spare. That was reaffirmed by how fast they were rushing me   
   JS>down the halls on the gurney. They used their little "Roto Rooter" machine   
   JS>to clean my pipes.    
      
     I had a cardiac cath done once myself...they didn't find any blockage, but   
   found that I have high blood pressure.   
      
   JS>    The doctor that I had seemed to be nice. He seemd to be someone that a   
   JS>patient could actually hold a conversation with. Did I mention that I really   
   JS>HATE hospital beds. That was the most uncomfortable thing to even try to sle   
   JS>on. Which isn't helped by the folks that stop by every couple hours to see i   
   JS>your still alive.  Im doing ok but can't handle stairs or hills very well   
   JS>Guess my plans to be a mountain climber are shelved.   
      
     The worst part for me, is that my veins tend to roll over, hide, collapse,   
   etc. when they see needles coming, and they want you to sleep on your back.   
   It's like being crucified as they repeatedly "stick me" to find a good vein,   
   then I can't sleep on my back.   
      
     The late Red Skelton had part of his routine dealing with hospitals,   
   doctors, nurses, etc. He said "Nurses...they mean well, but they'll drive you   
   nuts!!"...with things like "Wake Up!! Wake Up!! Time For Your Sleeping Pill!!"   
   -- been there, done that. Or, they give you the sleeping pill at the same time   
   they give you the laxative to clean out your bowels. Just as your about to nod   
   off, your colon goes into rebellion, and you're lucky to make it to the   
   toilet!!   
      
     In a show in Branson, Missouri, a few years ago...Tom Mullica was doing "A   
   Tribute To Red Skelton"...and he looked and sounded like the late comedian.   
   When he found out that they was a group of nurses in the audience, he was   
   elated!! Gushing with joy, he said "I'm so glad all of you are here today, as   
   I've been dying to ask this question". The hall got deal quiet, and he asked   
   "Have we had our bowel movement today??". :P The nurses were as red as   
   tomatoes from blushing, but the rest of the hall was roaring in laughter, as   
   they know it's true nowadays..."you can't go home until you go poop"!! :P   
      
     Or the part where they "baby talk" to you...such as "How Are We   
   Today??"..."Did We Sleep Well??"..."Shall We Have Our Bath Now??". Red said   
   "Ol' WE almost fainted on that one!!" . If they ever ask me "Shall We Have   
   Our Enema??", I'm going to be tempted to ask "Oh, I get to give you one,   
   too??"!! :P   
      
     One guy apparently got so disgusted about this nurse baby talking to him,   
   that he ordered a thing of apple juice, and he hid it from view. This nurse   
   came in to ask for a urine sample, and then stepped out of the room. Unknown   
   to her, he poured the apple juice in the cup instead, and it looked just like   
   urine. However, since it had "sat" for awhile, it was "warm", similar to   
   urine. When the nurse came back in, she picked up the specimen container, and   
   lamented "Oh! It's a bit dark!!". He grabbed the deal from her, and said   
   "That's OK, I'll run it through again!!", and promptly swigged down the apple   
   juice. The nurse fainted dead away, and NEVER bothered him again!! :P   
      
   JS>The sad thing to me was being a dad and having none of my kids showing up or   
   JS>at least calling. I did get a glad your ok msg after I got back home from on   
   JS>though.   
      
     I never had kids, due to having chicken pox at age 20...catching it from my   
   brother's first wife's kids. His case was mild, but mine was so severe, that   
   it put me in the hospital for a week, and out of work at the Burger King   
   across from the local college, where I was a student, for 2 months. It was as   
   if someone had dropped me into a vat of itching powder. Top to bottom, front   
   to back (including the genitals and buttocks) were COVERED with the pox. They   
   put me into ISOLATION, as they thought I was going into encephalitis. Family   
   and medical staff coming to see me had to don surgical gear. The doctor said   
   that "it was the worst case that he had ever seen". I've got the shingles   
   virus inside me now, but I had a shot for it, plus for tetnaus, and pneumonia,   
   over 3 years ago...I understand that shingles is EXTREMELY PAINFUL.   
      
      
   (Continued to next message)   
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