-=> Quoting Damon A. Getsman to Nancy Backus on 14-Jun-2015 17:38 <=-   
      
    DAG> Re: Re: Misc and parents at another level (was  trying again)   
       
    NB>> For sure... Had he had any management experience previously...?  One   
    NB>> can hope that by now he's learned how to do the basics... or that   
    NB>> they've figured out that he isn't going to work out...   
    DAG> That was the bit that really surprised me.  He'd had plenty of   
    DAG> experience as a manager, but it had obviously been his first gig.    
    DAG> Also, it was at a fast pizza joint, which is really not much like a   
    DAG> fully organic convenience service atmosphere, except in that it is   
    DAG> serving food.  Once you cross the threshold into the kitchen it's a   
    DAG> very different matter from any place just slangin prepared and heavily   
    DAG> preserved ingredients.    
      
   Some aspects of being a manager would carry over from one to the other,   
   but moving from fast food to prepared food would take it up a notch or   
   two...  :)   
      
    DAG> So I think what happened is that when he got to a place where he had   
    DAG> at least 5x as many irons in the fire at once, it started affecting   
    DAG> things in a detrimental fashion all around even the skill set that he   
    DAG> did already have.    
      
   A lot more mananging to keep track of...  so unless he was a natural   
   manager, there'd be a huge learning curve...    
      
    DAG> Either which way, I've well decided to go with   
    DAG> different currents now; I am very much hoping that I don't have to do   
    DAG> that kind of work to survive ever again.   
       
   From what I've seen so far, you don't need that sort of a   
   pressure-cooker environment...  :)   
      
    NB>> Having had the experience, it's something that you can call up in   
    NB>> memory to remind you of the perspective... volunteering in similar   
    NB>> settings can do the same thing... :)   
    DAG> I do miss some of the volunteer work that I did.  Most of it was for   
    DAG> like $7 an hour (I wish I were making that up), but it did manage to   
      
   $7 an hour...?   That's $7 more than I ever got volunteering... ;)  All   
   my volunteering was for free, and largely not even recognized...  :)   
      
    DAG> provide a bit of pride and conscience about the different things that I   
    DAG> was accomplishing in my day, as well as the different issues that I   
    DAG> could really have to be dealing with in my day.  It was funny, now that   
    DAG> I look back at my primary stretch in that work I actually came upon   
    DAG> that experience running from other things that I had to deal with.  I   
    DAG> had come out of one of the longest, best, relationships that I'd had to   
    DAG> that point, and my heart was thoroughly shattered.  I had been awaiting   
    DAG> enlistment in the navy for almost a year, and then they turned me down   
    DAG> just a few days before I was supposed to ship out.  I ended up   
    DAG> snagging two jobs, one at a McDonald's, and one doing the work that I   
    DAG> was talking about above, and I was working regularly 70+ hours a week   
    DAG> in order to save up what I could for a new start and to keep myself   
    DAG> distracted from the suffering at any cost.  Having that one job,   
    DAG> working with people in much more dire circumstances than myself was,   
    DAG> perhaps, one of the best things that could've happened to me at the   
    DAG> time.    
      
   Valuable experience, even if it didn't pay well... both jobs,   
   actually... ;)   But the one that gave you some perspective was indeed a   
   good thing for you there... one can so easily be so caught up in one's   
   own sufferings that they don't see that their own might not be the worst   
   possible thing in the world after all...    
      
    DAG> Well, I've got a little programming in my upbringing that I'm trying   
    DAG> to work over as far as insecurities and the like.  I think I've done   
    DAG> pretty well working to stretch into my 4th decade, though.  There is   
    DAG> also the fact that I've turned around a great many personal habits that   
    DAG> were valid points to be insecure about, as well.  While I may not be at   
    DAG> a perfet spot yet, there would be a steep climb in my rate of   
    DAG> improvement over the last 6-7 years from the background that I'd   
    DAG> previously had.  It's something to be proud of, and I suspect that that   
    DAG> rate is being kept high due to my son.  I guess what I'm trying to say   
    DAG> is I don't know if I'll ever quash them and become the Buddha, but I'm   
    DAG> doing my best at making sure that I can deal with my insecurities.   
      
   I doubt any of us would become the Buddha... but learning how to manage   
   the insecurities is probably useful enough... :)   
      
    NB>> Thank you for the well wishings...  :)  She's continuing to do better,   
    NB>> growing stronger and able to do more things independently again... we   
    NB>> still have to be there just in case, and for the stabilizing hold now   
    NB>> and then... so I'm still taking some shifts of care coverage.  When she   
    NB>> went for her followup visit to the surgeon to get the staples removed,   
    NB>> he was quite pleased with her progress, and pronounced it a success.   
    DAG> I'm very glad to hear that all went as well as can be hoped for.  :)   
       
   Progress continues, though slowly...  She always has been slow at   
   bouncing back, anyway...  Now we just have to figure out how we are   
   going to manage her care when we go camping as an extended family...   
   some will be in tents, some in cabins, so at least we aren't going to   
   have to worry about how to deal with her in a tent...   But there are   
   a few other logistics still to work out... :)   
      
    DAG> I used to spend a whole lot more time on some of those web-based   
    DAG> networks. It's taken me multiple years, but as my priorities have   
    DAG> changed I've really found that I don't want that time sink either.  I   
    DAG> find often these days that I'll wake up, and when I first get bored   
    DAG> I'll open some tabs to those different sites.  As a little bit of time   
    DAG> passes, though, or once I scroll a screenful or three, I find that I   
    DAG> could really care less about the content on there, and I don't really   
    DAG> have the motivation to add content that I really find meaningful   
    DAG> myself.  Those media seem to be the equivalent of background static to   
    DAG> me these days.  I find more and more that I'm missing a day, or two, or   
    DAG> even three, before I know it, in days that I have those tabs open and   
    DAG> sitting and waiting.    
      
   From what I've seen, there's not a lot of meaningful content... even   
   when meaningful things are being shared...    
      
    DAG> These kinds of forums, the text-based ones, I   
    DAG> don't think I'll ever totally unplug from.  There's far too much depth   
    DAG> of character and feeling that's expressed here that doesn't work its   
    DAG> way into the different web-based social media as often.  I always have   
    DAG> to love being able to jump to a different echo and get my 'cantankerous   
    DAG> a-hole' quota of the day with just a couple of keystrokes, too.  ;)   
      
   As long as you do it in the appropriate echoes...  ;)   
      
    DAG> My issue lately seems to be more dealing with the world as it has   
    DAG> progressed in the decades where I've been too plugged in for too long.    
    DAG> I think back to different eras in my life, particularly when I was   
    DAG> living on some urban property in Jersey, and I remember how easy it was   
    DAG> to make an entire neighborhood full of aquaintences within a really   
    DAG> short number of days.  You could just walk up the hill and spend an   
    DAG> afternoon doing that, with or without a case of beer to share to lube   
    DAG> the communication flow, and before you knew it it was nighttime and you   
    DAG> still had half of a block unexplored going in the opposite direction   
    DAG> for the next day.  Maybe I'm making up the reasons for this in my head,   
    DAG> but I can't help but see social media as being somewhat responsible for   
    DAG> this.  People think they're a million times more plugged in to the   
    DAG> happenings in others lives and the like, but if you put them all in a   
    DAG> room what do they do?  They all reach for the smartphone and start   
    DAG> blogging about what's going on, instead of meeting new people IRL.   
      
   You might be just a bit cynical there... but I've seen the same thing,   
   actually...  :)  It's still possible to meet one's neighbors in person,   
   but it takes more effort, and people aren't nearly so much in evidence   
   as one walks down the street anymore, either...    
      
    DAG> Indeed.  Hence my lateness to reply to this.  Illness has been doing   
    DAG> laps around the different people in this apartment, too, so it's been   
    DAG> rougher than normal lately.  I really hope that my employer understands   
    DAG> the illness bit when we're only hitting about 50% of the hours that   
    DAG> we're authorized.  'Course, betting on the budget requirements of the   
    DAG> client, there's a good chance that [at least the client] will be   
    DAG> grateful for the easiness on their pocketbook. Still, I really like to   
    DAG> be a bit more consistent with all of this. Unfortunately I'm not just   
    DAG> at the mercy of whenever I can put hours in; there's also other people   
    DAG> in the equation who don't exactly have the same drive to work as I do.   
      
   Just have to make sure that you keep the employer in the loop when   
   illness takes its toll...  I trust that the illness has finally run its   
   course and let you all be back to normal...?   
      
   ttyl       neb