Re: Re: Updates on intermittently transient living for 2 years w/son   
     By: Nancy Backus to Damon A. Getsman on Thu Feb 05 2015 16:50:12   
      
    NB> I suspect it's less the transientness in any case.  Some of it may just   
    NB> be age-related.  And, as you mentioned (both in the part I snipped and   
    NB> below) the video games probably do have somewhat to do with it as well.   
      
     This is a good point that was brought to my attention by people I was   
   speaking to at his school, as well.  I'd be a million times more comfortable   
   seeing the innocence fade, as it does around this time significantly, if we   
   were stable and he had friends to help buffer it, though.   
      
    NB> Having a compatible friend makes a lot of difference... how long were   
    NB> you able to stay where he had the friends?   
      
     In Bismarck it was over 3 years.  He was really tight with a lot of   
   them there.  In Minot, it was...  around 4-6 months.  Here, well he's gotten   
   together with friends outside of school 4 times.  In six months.  I can't even   
   bear to think about that.  He's got plenty of friends, it's just that this is   
   such a yuppie neighborhood that they're all too busy to want to bring their   
   kids out so that _they_ can have any lives.  I really can't wait to move to a   
   lower class neighborhood, and that isn't sarcasm in the slightest.   
      
    DAG>> However he suffered a bit of verbal abuse, and definitely neglect,   
    DAG>> from my fiancee when I was working, which I later found out about.    
    NB> Sigh... not what he needed, for sure.   
      
     Not at all.  :|  I don't even know what to say about that.  I'm a little   
   ashamed that it took me so long to realize.  I was really wrapped up in   
   providing for 5 people and the infatuation.  :(   
      
    NB> And without friends to get out and play with, there is more incentive to   
    NB> occupy oneself with the video games, too...     
      
     Yeah.  I've been slowly putting that to a limit, though.  As the days get   
   longer here he's going to have time to get out to the park, on the days when   
   it's not totally cold and wet (kind of rare this time of year here, still).    
   I'm going to be doing other things with him, too.  I know this one bit is   
   within my control and I just can't stand to see it reprogramming him that way.    
   :P   
     I think I'm just gonna skip to him being able to play it for 3-4 hours a day   
   on weekends only, and that's it.  If the ADHD behavior problems kick in after   
   that, I'll talk to him, and if they keep kicking in, that'll be lowered, too.    
   Not sure what else I can do.  At least I've got new books on the way for him.    
   It'd be really nice if we had space for him to play board games with me and   
   with his other toys though, too.  Or if, like, his friends with space had   
   parents that would let him come over.  :P   
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