1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know   
   what time it is.   
       
   2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize   
   you're wrong.   
       
   3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.   
       
   4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.   
       
   5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?   
       
   6. Was learning cursive really necessary?   
       
   7. Map Quest or Google Maps really need to start their directions on # 5. I'm   
   pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.   
       
   8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person   
   died.   
       
   9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.   
       
   10. Bad decisions make good stories.   
       
   11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment when you know   
   you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.   
       
   12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-Ray? I don't want   
   to have to restart my collection... again.   
       
   13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I   
   want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report I swear I did not   
   make any changes to.   
       
   14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to   
   answer when they call.   
       
   15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.   
       
   16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday   
   night more kisses begin with a few martinis than Kay.   
       
   17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.   
       
   18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.   
       
   19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and   
   smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? [Algebra   
   101]   
       
   20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to   
   prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!   
       
   21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Jeans? Jeans never get dirty, and   
   you can wear them forever.   
       
   22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in   
   a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but   
   I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in   
   about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.   
       
   23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the   
   first helmet was used in 1974. This means it only took 100 years for men to   
   realize their brain is also important.  (-:   
       
   24. I was in a Starbucks Coffee shop recently when my stomach started rumbling   
   and I realized I desperately needed to fart. The place was packed, but the   
   music was really loud so to get relief and reduce embarrassment I timed my   
   farts to the beat of the music. After the song was over I started to feel much   
   better. I finished my coffee and noticed that everyone was staring at me. I   
   suddenly remembered I was listening to my Ipod (with an ear piece)!   
       
   This is what happens when old people start using technology!   
       
       
   Regards,   
       
   Roger   
      
   --- DB 3.99 + W10 (1607)   
    * Origin: NCS BBS - Houma, LoUiSiAna (1:3828/7)