The Darwin's Are Out!   
       
   Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are   
   bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.   
       
       
   *Here is the glorious winner:*   
       
   *1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim   
   during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber John Elliot did   
   something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried   
   the trigger again. This time it worked.*   
       
       
   *And now, the honorable mentions:*   
       
       
   2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting   
   machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his   
   insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men   
   to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a   
   finger... The chef's claim was approved.   
       
       
   3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during   
   a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken   
   the space. Understandably, he shot her.   
       
       
   4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver   
   found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from   
   Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the   
   driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free   
   ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the   
   staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre   
   fantasies... The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.   
       
       
   5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head   
   wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the   
   injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he   
   could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.   
       
       
   6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,   
   and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled   
   a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly   
   provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20   
   bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...   
   $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime   
   committed?]   
       
       
   7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that   
   he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some   
   booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head   
   at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on   
   the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of   
   Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape...   
       
       
   8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed   
   her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able   
   to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the   
   police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to   
   the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there   
   for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's   
   the lady I stole the purse from."   
       
       
   9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger   
   King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.   
   The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash   
   register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk   
   said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked   
   away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]   
       
       
       
   10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a   
   Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained   
   for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next   
   to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man   
   admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into   
   the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined   
   to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.   
       
       
   Regards,   
       
   Roger   
      
   --- DB 3.99 + Windows 10   
    * Origin: NCS BBS - Houma, LoUiSiAna (1:3828/7)