My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.   
       
   She asked, 'What's on TV?'   
       
   I said, 'Dust.'   
       
   And then the fight started.   
   ==================================================================   
       
   My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She   
   said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'   
       
   I bought her a scale.   
       
   And then the fight started.   
   ==================================================================   
       
   When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place   
   expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...   
       
   And then the fight started....   
   ==================================================================   
       
   After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social   
   Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to   
   verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at   
   home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and   
   come back later.   
       
   The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly   
   silver hair.   
       
   She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she   
   processed my Social Security application.   
       
   When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social   
   Security office.   
       
   She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten   
   disability, too.'   
       
   And then the fight started...   
   ====================================================== =========   
       
   My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept   
   staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby   
   table.   
       
   My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'   
       
   'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking   
   right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober   
   since.'   
       
   'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that   
   long?'   
       
   And then the fight started...   
   ============================================================   
       
   I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and   
   slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just   
   get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?   
       
   Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!   
       
   He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!'   
       
   So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'   
       
   And then the fight started...   
       
       
   Regards,   
       
   Roger   
      
   --- D'Bridge 3.99   
    * Origin: NCS BBS - Houma, LoUiSiAna (1:3828/7)