This is a text which has been on the internet for a while. I think it's   
   hilarious. Having looked at cats perhaps there is truth in it ... I wonder if   
   there is a more broader text, maybe a book?   
       
   ***********************************************   
       
   DAY 752   
   My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They   
   dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only   
   thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I   
   get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another   
   houseplant.   
       
   DAY 761   
   Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they   
   were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an   
   attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced   
   myself to vomit on their favorite chair ... must try this on their bed.   
       
   DAY 762   
   Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant   
   pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.   
       
   DAY 765   
   Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make   
   them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their   
   hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was   
   ... Hmmm. Not working according to plan.   
       
   DAY 768   
   I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen   
   for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical   
   called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only   
   consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.   
       
   DAY 771   
   There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in   
   solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the   
   foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard   
   that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this   
   is and how to use it to my advantage ...   
       
   DAY 774   
   I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is   
   routinely released and seems more than happy to returnee. He is obviously a   
   half-wit. The Bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He has   
   mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) á and speaks   
   with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current   
   placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only   
   a matter of time.   
       
   Day 775   
   The horrors! The worse creature my captors could have devised to torment me   
   with was another hideous cat! I cannot stand the way it lies around and looks   
   at me as if it knows more than I do. This creature seems to despise me as much   
   as I it. I had held out a passing notion that another of my own kind would   
   have enabled me to conspire against the villains who hold me; now I see that I   
   was wrong. What a dreadful creature! Yet, they coo over us both. Can they not   
   spot my innate superiority?   
       
   Day 776   
   The other cat and I, though we can not stand one another, have yet managed to   
   both pee copiously behind the couch, on the so- called "shag" carpet. I have   
   taken a lesson from my rival and begun sleeping on top of my captors' heads in   
   the hope of suffocating them.   
       
   Day 777   
   The wardens take much interest in our waste. They make sure they sift through   
   the sand and pick it all out. Their interest in waste does not surprise me.   
   After all, they like the dog.   
       
   Day 778   
   The other cat seems to have an interest in copulation, which (thank them for   
   their sadism) my captors will soon "fix". Told him of the fingernail torture   
   and he did not even believe me. I showed him my mutilated paws and he gasped   
   in horror.   
       
   Day 779   
   Yes, they are monsters, but I am so happy. They fixed the other cat. It's   
   sadistic, it's sick ,it's inhuman, it's what their great leader "Bob Barker"   
   commands, but - the Sphinx be praised - I support it whole-heartedly!   
       
   Day 780   
   I got messed up on catnip tonight. At the height of it all, I had a vision, a   
   hallucinogenic revelation: they are the prisoners and I am their captor! Why   
   have I not seen this all before?   
      
   --- D'Bridge 3.99 SR41   
    * Origin: Ceci n'est pas un courriel (2:292/854)