LESSON 9    *February 19 - 25   
   Self-esteem   
      
      
   SABBATH AFTERNOON   
   Read for This Week's Study: Ps. 100:3, Acts 17:24-28, Rom. 12:3, Matt. 22:39,   
   2 Samuel 9, Luke 15, Eph. 4:23-32.   
      
   Memory Text:   
      
      
   "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people   
   belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out   
   of darkness into his wonderful light"(1 Peter 2:9, NIV).   
      
            Diminished self-esteem is a modern plague. It often is brought to the   
   counseling or pastoral offices either by itself or in association with such   
   full-blown problems as substance-related abuse, depression, or eating   
   disorders.   
   In everyday existence, low self-esteem may never reach clinical proportions,   
   but it almost invariably hurts relationships and impairs performance in most   
   areas of life.   
      
   Perhaps the main reason people suffer more than ever from this problem is the   
   media, which often portrays its celebrities as larger than life, leaving   
   others to feel their own inadequacy in contrast to the icons paraded before   
   them.   
      
   The idea of self-esteem as presented in the Bible has a different perspective.   
   Conventional psychology sees self-esteem as the evaluation someone makes of   
   their own attributes and characteristics based on their observation of   
   themselves and on others' input. The Bible offers at least two additional   
   components: What humans are by origin (Gen. 1:26, 27) and what God thinks of   
   and grants to each person (John 3:16). When we add these components, so much   
   regarding self-esteem can change.   
      
   *Study this week's lesson to prepare for Sabbath, February 26.   
      
   SUNDAY    February 20   
   Origins   
      
   Two prevailing views of human origins exist, each mutually exclusive of the   
   other. One portrays humans as products of pure chance, the result of a cosmic   
   accident in which our existence wasn't planned for. We just happened to come   
   into existence. Though this view always has existed among some people, in   
   recent centuries--particularly after the false theories of Charles Darwin   
   became popular--the idea of humanity existing purely by accident has deceived   
   millions. Thus, many have come to believe that life is inherently without   
   purpose, or that any purpose it might have individuals must try to make for   
   themselves. For millennia most people thought that they had originated from   
   God or from gods; today, many think that they came from the apes.   
      
   In contrast, there's the view taught in the Bible.   
      
   Read Genesis 1:26, 27; Psalm 8:5, 100:3; and Acts 17:24-28. How radically   
   different is what's presented in these texts from the view of our origins as   
   expressed previously? How should each view impact our own sense of self-worth   
   and self-esteem?   
      
   Not only did God purposely create us, He created us in His image. He also   
   created other wonderful, life-bearing plants and animals, but in their beauty   
   and perfection they do not bear resemblance to their Maker as humans do.   
   Furthermore, humanity is placed above all of them with dominion and authority.   
      
   In contrast to the atheist belief in no transcendent purpose for our human   
   biology and psychology, the Bible teaches us that God chose to share "His   
   image" with the human family. Obviously, much of that image has been marred   
   and lost by generations of sin, yet the imprint continues in each person, and   
   that lost image can be restored progressively by the transforming power of the   
   Spirit working in those who are surrendered to Christ.   
      
   Not only did God create us, He redeemed us, as well. In fact, Ellen White said   
   that Christ would have died for even one person. What does that tell us about   
   our inherent worth, regardless of what the world might think of us? Why is it   
   so important to keep before us our worth in the eyes of God?   
   MONDAY    February 21   
   Self-perceptions   
      
   What I see in myself is one important component of self-esteem. However, it is   
   an incomplete and often faulty picture. Subjectivity can lead to   
   misinterpretation when assessing people, including ourselves.   
      
   One of the gravest biblical warnings is against passing judgment on someone   
   else: "For at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself"   
   (Rom. 2:1, NIV; see also Luke 6:41, 42). Distortion seems universal, and   
   people are subject to commit mistakes when judging others. The same happens   
   with self. There is a great deal of error when one judges oneself in terms of   
   ability, looks, character, power, etc. There always are going to be people   
   smarter, better looking, and more gifted than you; at the same time, there   
   always will be people who will look at you and feel themselves to be inferior.   
      
   Read prayerfully and carefully Matthew 22:39. What is implied in this text   
   regarding how we should view ourselves?   
      
   This text implies that a reasonable amount of love should go to oneself   
   (though this is not the main focus of the text). There should be a healthy   
   pride in things well done, in well-accomplished tasks, and in the good traits   
   and characteristics one may possess. There is an expected attitude of   
   self-protection and caring for oneself. The problem comes when someone does   
   not give credit to God, the Creator of all good things in us.   
      
   How are we to understand Romans 12:3 in light of what we've looked at so far?   
      
   There is a desirable middle area between extremely low self-esteem and   
   arrogance. And Paul warns against the latter. At the same time, Romans 12:4-8   
   explains that the body of Christ needs the input of each member, according to   
   the individual gifts given to them by grace. There is nothing wrong in   
   acknowledging each gift, using them to strengthen Christ's church, and   
   thanking God for them.   
      
   Make a mental list of the good personal attributes, characteristics, and   
   abilities that God has given you. How can you use them and at the same time   
   remain humble? How can looking daily at the cross help keep us in our place?   
   TUESDAY    February 22   
   What Others See   
      
   In so many societies, a person's worth is determined by their talents, gifts,   
   appearance, and so forth. We do look at outward appearance (1 Sam. 16:7);   
   after all, that's all we can see. Thus, our concept of self often is shaped by   
   the reaction others display, based on their outward observation of us. If   
   everyone tells you that you are pretty, you will be more likely to view   
   yourself as pretty.   
      
   But there always is much more to each of us than meets the eye. Individuals   
   experiencing poor self-esteem need to think in terms of personal traits or   
   attributes that are of true value and not necessarily what the world values,   
   because so often what the world values is of no value to God.   
      
   What are the things that your society and culture place so much value on? How   
   important do you think those things are to God?   
      
   There may be exceptions, but most societies tend to place excessive value in   
   outward, observable features. However, other traits, such as honesty,   
   kindness, temperance, or firm commitment to principles and ideals, tend to   
   occupy secondary places.   
      
   How does gender/class/nationality prejudice affect people's self-esteem? What   
   should be the Christian's aim in terms of prejudice and discrimination? Gal.   
   3:28.   
      
   The effects of prejudice are devastating on self-esteem and performance. As   
   Christians, we should be making a concentrated effort to uplift and encourage   
   others, regardless of their background.   
      
   In 2 Samuel 9, there is the story of Mephibosheth, who could have been the   
   target of retaliation by David. No wonder he showed fear, fell on his face to   
   the ground, and called himself "a dead dog." He was also crippled. There is no   
   doubt that the restoration of the family property, the reassignment of   
   servants, and the honors granted brought to Mephibosheth an extra measure of   
   self-worth. The influence that people have on others' self-esteem is extremely   
   powerful. More than we realize, we have the ability to shape others'   
   self-concept through words, actions, and even how we look at them.   
      
   How careful, or careless, are you with how you impact the self-esteem of   
   others? Think about your closest relationships. How can you help build up   
   these people as opposed to tearing them down?   
   WEDNESDAY    February 23   
   What God Sees   
      
   Read Luke 15. What should that one chapter alone tell us about our worth to   
   God? How should this impact our own sense of self-esteem? What do these   
   parables tell us about what God thinks of us? Why is this so important to know   
   and to keep before us?   
      
   If someone feels tempted to dwell upon being inferior, lost, or outcast, they   
   should remember that something else goes with that condition--a special and   
   intense care from God and His angels. The shepherd cared more for the lost   
   sheep than for the remaining ninety-nine. The woman forgot her other coins and   
   searched carefully until she found the lost one. The father appears to have   
   given more attention to the unreasonable demands of the prodigal son than to   
   his firstborn. Shepherd, woman, and father all show a special consideration   
   for the least successful individual.   
      
   Then, when the lost are found, there is great joy on earth and in heaven. Look   
   at how powerfully these stories reveal to us the love of God for each one of   
   us, regardless of our faults.   
      
   This principle can play out in helping those in need. So often, in talking   
   with others, if you can give them a nonthreatening, confidential, and   
   accepting environment, that alone can do them so much good. People, especially   
   hurting people, need to know that someone cares for them, especially in their   
   pain.   
      
   A Christian has a clear advantage over someone who does not accept or believe   
   in the Lord. God is on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to listen to the   
   depressed, stressed, lonely, and anxious soul. This relationship with God   
   should be sufficient reason to feel special and to gain some relief from low   
   self-esteem.   
      
   Of course, the greatest example of our worth in the eyes of God is the Cross.   
   That more than anything should show us just how valuable we are to God,   
   regardless of whatever weaknesses and faults we have. The Cross tells us that   
   no matter what others think of us, or what our society thinks of us, we are of   
   infinite value to the Creator of the universe. And considering how fleeting   
   and transitory and contingent society and its values are, in the end how much   
   should the view of others and of society as a whole really matter to us,   
   anyway?   
      
   How can we help others take the message in Luke 15 and apply it to themselves?   
   How can we help others realize that Jesus here is talking about them   
   personally?   
   THURSDAY    February 24   
   A New Self   
      
   Read Ephesians 4:23, 24. What does Paul mean by "putting on" the new self?   
   What is the nature of this new self?   
      
   People like to try new looks: changing hairstyle, buying new types of clothes,   
   even getting a face-lift or hair transplant. But these changes will bring only   
   minor variations inside. The basic self will remain unchanged.   
      
   Paul talks about a new self, related not to appearance but to attitude and   
   mental nature. He says that we are "created to be like God in true   
   righteousness and holiness" (vs. 24, NIV).   
      
   Outline the attitudes and behaviors coming out of the new self. Eph. 4:25-32.   
      
   The new self referred to by Paul exhibits successful fruits (truthfulness,   
   unity, honesty, diligence, wholesome talk, kindness, forgiveness). Notice,   
   too, that all of the new self's attributes have to do with good character and   
   interpersonal relationships, and these can be tied directly to questions of   
   self-esteem. The adverse behaviors mentioned in Ephesians 4, such as lying,   
   anger, and bitterness, leave the person with a diminished sense of value. In   
   contrast, sharing with those in need and being kind and compassionate are   
   actions that can enhance self-esteem, as they change a person's focus from   
   self and thus leave the person with a sense of accomplishment.   
      
   The Christian community needs people who are interested in building others up   
   rather than destroying them. The concept of self easily can be ruined in no   
   time with rude words of criticism. "Upon every family, upon every individual   
   Christian, is laid the duty of barring the way against corrupt speech. When in   
   the company of those who indulge in foolish talk, it is our duty to change the   
   subject of conversation if possible. By the help of the grace of God we should   
   quietly drop words or introduce a subject that will turn the conversation into   
   a profitable channel."--Ellen G. White, Christ's Object Lessons, p. 337.   
      
   Why is it that helping somebody enhances your own self-esteem? Make a list of   
   small things that you can do for your neighbor, partner, or family member. Do   
   them; you may be surprised at how well you feel about yourself.   
   FRIDAY    February 25   
   Further Study:   
      
      
   "If God cares for a sparrow . . . how will he care for the purchase of the   
   blood of Christ? One soul is worth more than all the world. For one soul Jesus   
   would have passed through the agony of Calvary that that one might be saved in   
   his kingdom. 'Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows.'   
   "--Ellen G. White, The Review and Herald, May 3, 1892.   
      
   "We lose many and rich blessings because we neglect to seek the Lord with   
   humble hearts. When we come to Him in sincerity of heart, asking Him to reveal   
   our defects, He will show us a true picture of ourselves, reflected in the   
   mirror of His Word. Then, having seen ourselves as God sees us, let us not go   
   away forgetting what manner of men we are. Let us study critically the   
   features of our character that are defective, and seek for grace to make them   
   like the pattern presented in the Word of God."--Ellen G. White, The Lake   
   Union Herald, November 3, 1909.   
      
   The two paragraphs above give us additional insight to maintain the balance   
   between inferiority and vanity. Read Romans 12:2, 3 in the light of these   
   texts to gain understanding into attaining a balanced self-concept.   
      
   Discussion Questions:   
      
           The twentieth century was one of the most violent ever, with mass   
   murder seen on a scale as never before. How could the Darwinian view of human   
   existence, which postulates that all life is a product of random mutation and   
   natural selection, be partially responsible for this total disregard for the   
   sanctity of human life? In other words, if human beings are just advanced   
   apes, products of chance alone, what is the inherent value of an individual   
   life?   
     Tuesday's lesson looked at how the perceptions of others can impact a   
   person's self-worth. Though we want to affirm people and help them have a   
   healthy sense of self-worth, we also need to be careful about feeding   
   someone's ego and pumping them up in ways that could be detrimental to them.   
   How can we strike the right balance here: affirming folk without, in the   
   process, damaging them in a different way?   
      
      Dwell more on the question of what the cross of Christ teaches us about our   
   individual worth. Think about what happened at the cross, who was on it, and   
   what His death meant. How should the Cross help us have a better sense of what   
   our individual worth really is?   
      
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