Ruben,   
      
   RF>No problem, I understand there more important things in life that this   
   RF>hobby.   
      
     That is for sure. Between the move from my apartment back to my Mom's   
   home, then putting my Mom into a nursing home, and dealing with the   
   finances with that, along with computer/internet issues, I've had more   
   stress than I can handle. I've been on the verge of a breakdown for   
   weeks now.   
      
   RF>I will say a prayer for all of you.  Just remember your faith and that   
   RF>this is only a shell we occupy for a short time and that our soul belongs   
   RF>to God and he wants us to enjoy our eternity with Him.  Your mom will   
   RF>receive the peace she so much deserves.  Place all your strength in Him to   
   RF>see you through this difficult time.  I have lost a parent also and   
   RF>understand where you are at.   
      
     At times, I've felt like I've been abandoned. My brother can't even   
   balance his own checkbook, so all the finances with getting my Mom into   
   a nursing home (including cashing in a bunch of things, and dealing with   
   some financial penalties for poorly documented purchases)...plus the   
   move back home, I've been ready to snap for weeks.   
      
     In Arkansas, the average cost per month of a nursing home is $5500 for   
   a semi-private room, and $7500 for a private room. To qualify for   
   Medicaid, if you get too much in retirement, pensions, disability, etc.,   
   they basically have to make you bankrupt. I'm going to end up paying the   
   tax (personal property, plus state and federal income) on the money for   
   my Mom, my brother and myself.   
      
     In short, she'll be bankrupt (I doubt she'll ever come back home), my   
   brother will get his money, and what I get will have to pay the bills   
   and the taxes, and I basically just get my Mom's house, her car, and my   
   possessions. I was hoping to get to take "one big trip" to Florida next   
   February as a "reward" for all the stress I've been under...a trip I had   
   sacrificed/cancelled 2 years ago, when my Mom had her pacemaker put it.   
   But, it looks like he'll get his money, but my Mom and I basically get   
   nothing. I told my brother that "when it's gone, it's gone, so don't   
   blow it".   
      
     So many times on Earth, I took the job that no one else wanted; which   
   was usually the dirtiest (cleaning, etc.). So, I feel that at the Bema   
   Judgment, that I'm going to tell The Lord that "You deserve these   
   rewards and crowns much more than I do, as You alone are worthy of the   
   Praise". Because I am so unworthy (I feel worse than the prophet Isaiah,   
   who said "I am a man of unclean lips"), I feel like I should get the   
   position just above "the least in the kingdom of Heaven", with the task,   
   position, and rank, that no one else wants. The Lord may have something   
   better, and recompense me at "the resurrection of the just", but that's   
   the least of my concerns right now.   
      
   Daryl   
      
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