From: Matthew Vincent    
      
   On Monday, 27 May 2013 20:48:09 UTC+12, JWK4EVER  wrote:   
   >I am looking for Matthew Vincent, he was a friend    
   >of me at Usenet but due to my psychosis several    
   >years ago we have lost contact. He had to endure    
   >my delusional tantrums in email and I want to    
   >apologize to him.    
      
   Hello Jan-Willem,    
      
   I still read this newsgroup occasionally, but not very often. I'm preoccupied   
   with other matters right now, and have a very busy schedule. Also, I have   
   Aspergers, which impairs my organisation and time management.    
      
   It's nice to see you again. I hope you are well. I didn't feel offended or   
   bothered by anything you said in email. I'm guessing that you have sometimes   
   been rejected by other people in social situations in the past, and that you   
   feel confused about why this is. So, you're left wondering what's OK to say and   
    what isn't. Social situations must feel like an invisible minefield to you,   
   and this must be a tough burden to live with. You are very brave and strong to   
   continue trying your best in the face of all this.    
      
   You don't need to feel so guilty and apologetic all the time. You're a good   
   person and you contribute positively to the world around you. You try your best   
    in the face of difficult circumstances that are beyond your control. There are   
    plenty of selfish jerks around, and you're not one of them. That janitor you   
   told me about seems like a nasty bully and a prize idiot.    
      
   Here is my case formulation of you, as of last we talked, which admittedly was   
   several years ago. You most likely meet criteria for an Axis II delusional   
   disorder, as your psychiatrist(s) diagnosed you with. An Axis II disorder is   
   generally less severe than an Axis I disorder. You don't meet criteria for   
   schizophrenia, which involves delusions, hallucinations and disordered   
   thinking. You only have delusions, and those delusions that you have are not   
   severe in intensity. Your logical understanding of causality is not impaired,   
   but you sometimes engage in delusions as a defence mechanism to protect your   
   self-esteem and manage core identity issues.    
      
   Psychiatrists often speak of "delusional guilt". My interpretation of   
   delusional guilt is that it typically involves a negative schema, combined with   
    an impairment in your ability to use rational evidence to counter the negative   
    thoughts you've had about yourself.    
      
   Your IQ seems to be above average (tests can measure it more precisely), and   
   you're smart enough to learn more than one language. Your vocabulary in   
   English, which isn't your first language, is pretty good. Your ability to   
   understand the world around you does not seem to be impaired, except for your   
   negative self-image and delusions pertaining to yourself and your core   
   identity. The Babylon 5 questions, such as "Who are you?" and "What do you   
   want" are worth considering. They're not easy questions to answer. It's painful   
    to be yourself, so you use delusions as a form of escapism.    
      
   Last we talked, you were comfortable and perhaps even enthusiastic about   
   receiving help and support in this newsgroup. Consequently, I'm assuming that   
   you're consenting to hearing the above material publicly. Please accept my   
   apologies in the event that this assumption of mine was inaccurate.    
      
   It's pretty quiet in here these days, and I'm not going to be around much.   
   That's why I figured I'd give you this formulation now, for you to take away   
   with you if you wish. I'd like to be clear that nothing I say to you online can   
    take the place of formal therapy in "real life" in your local area. So, if   
   you're seeing professionals such as a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist,   
   please be guided by them. If you wish to print out this post of mine and show   
   it to a professional you're seeing locally, please feel free to do so.    
      
   The reason we lost contact is not due to your psychosis, or anything about you,   
    or anything that you said or did. I simply got too busy doing other things,   
   and lost contact with other people besides you. I'm not very good at keeping up   
    with email correspondence. I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on. Your   
   apology is definitely accepted, and wasn't necessary in the first place.    
      
   Take care, and I wish you all the best. I'll hopefully see you on this   
   newsgroup again sometime.    
      
   Kind regards,    
   Matthew    
      
      
   --- Internet Rex 2.31   
    * Origin: Deep Thought (1:2320/101)