> Here is my case formulation of you, as of last we talked, which admittedly   
   was several years ago. You most likely meet criteria for an Axis II delusional   
   disorder, as your psychiatrist(s) diagnosed you with. An Axis II disorder is   
   generally less severe than an Axis I disorder. You don't meet criteria for   
   schizophrenia, which involves delusions, hallucinations and disordered   
   thinking. You only have delusions, and those delusions that you have are not   
   severe in intensity. Your logical understanding of causality is not impaired,   
   but you sometimes engage in delusions as a defence mechanism to protect your   
   self-esteem and manage core identity issues.   
   > >   
   >   
      
    "Never surrender dreams". I had to surrender *all* my dreams (my delusions)   
   in becoming sane! I took me about 7 years and during that time I have been   
   committed two times into a mental institution. On the bright side I have   
   learned that Vantu is just as fictional creation as Santa or the Easter Bunny.   
   I am no longer letting him drive mine life with the help of proper medication!   
       
   > Psychiatrists often speak of "delusional guilt". My interpretation of   
   delusional guilt is that it typically involves a negative schema, combined   
   with an impairment in your ability to use rational evidence to counter the   
   negative thoughts you've had about yourself.   
   > >   
   >   
      
   I have a very low self-esteem indeed!   
       
   > Your IQ seems to be above average (tests can measure it more precisely), and   
   you're smart enough to learn more than one language. Your vocabulary in   
   English, which isn't your first language, is pretty good. Your ability to   
   understand the world around you does not seem to be impaired, except for your   
   negative self-image and delusions pertaining to yourself and your core   
   identity. The Babylon 5 questions, such as "Who are you?" and "What do you   
   want" are worth considering. They're not easy questions to answer. It's   
   painful to be yourself, so you use delusions as a form of escapism.   
   > >   
   >   
      
   And I have used delusions also as a mask.   
      
      
   > Last we talked, you were comfortable and perhaps even enthusiastic about   
   receiving help and support in this newsgroup. Consequently, I'm assuming that   
   you're consenting to hearing the above material publicly. Please accept my   
   apologies in the event that this assumption of mine was inaccurate.   
   > >   
   >   
      
   No apologizes needed, this assumption of you is accurate!   
       
   > It's pretty quiet in here these days, and I'm not going to be around much.   
   That's why I figured I'd give you this formulation now,   
   for you to take away with you if you wish. I'd like to be clear that nothing I   
   say to you online can take the place of formal therapy in "real life" in your   
   local area. So, if you're seeing professionals such as a psychiatrist or   
   clinical psychologist, please be guided by them. If you wish to print out this   
   post of mine and show it to a professional you're seeing locally, please feel   
   free to do so.   
   > >   
   >   
      
   Thank you for the information! I am on anti depressants and anti psychotics   
   and am seeing a psychiatrist regularly   
      
      
   > The reason we lost contact is not due to your psychosis, or anything about   
   you, or anything that you said or did. I simply got too busy doing other   
   things, and lost contact with other people besides you. I'm not very good at   
   keeping up with email correspondence. I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed   
   on. Your apology is definitely accepted, and wasn't necessary in the first   
   place.   
   > >   
   >   
      
   Thank you for accepting my apologies, I hope you aren’t offended that I have   
   responded late to your posting in this newsgroup   
      
   > Take care, and I wish you all the best. I'll hopefully see you on this   
   newsgroup again sometime.   
   >>   
   >   
      
   You will see me frequently    
      
   Until Next Time   
      
   Jan-Willem   
   --- SBBSecho 2.20-Win32   
    * Origin: Time Warp of the Future BBS - Home of League 10 (1:340/400)