DAVE COBLE and ALL will demonstrate tag-team Top Ten OLD Rumors:.   
   Everyone take notes.   
      
    DC> 10. True Thomas the Rhymer turned rumormonger   
      
   Nah, ya think?   
      
    DC>  9. A coalition of Marc Barrett, David Corn, Nicholas Alwin, and Jerry   
    DC>     Shekhel bankrolled by Steven jobs, Rupert Murdoch, O.J. Simpson,   
    DC>     former US President Bush, and Mumar Kaddafy have put in the high   
    DC>     bid for Commodore.   
      
   Is Haliburton bankrolling?   
      
    DC>  8. Commodore is relocating to an closely guarded airplane hanger in   
    DC>     the US southwest desert.   
      
   That's too pedestrian.   
      
    DC>  7. Commodore is relocating to a closely guarded airplane hanger at   
    DC>     Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.   
      
   Ditto.  Besides, everyone knows the /real/ action is at Warehouse 23. Fnord.   
      
    DC>  6. An unnamed company has purchased Commodore and is relocating the   
    DC>     entire operation to Lahore.   
      
   That's not funny.   
      
    DC>  5. The successful offerer is from Chengdu and Commodore is relocating   
    DC>     there.   
      
   Even less funny.   
      
    DC>  4. A major manufacturer of steelcase furniture wants the use of the   
    DC>     name Commodore for its new line of file cabinets, and will be using   
    DC>     key parts of the Amiga chipset to offer computerized filing organic   
    DC>     to the new Commodore filing cabinets that will be coming out in   
    DC>     five months.   
      
   Microsoft tried the smart office concept; we got Windows Pro 2000 and   
   Microsoft Office.   
      
    DC>  3. The former Charlestown Naval Shipyard is being reactivated, and the   
    DC>     new ships to be built there will be robotic.  The intelligence   
    DC>     on-board will be ranked as a Commodore, and the US Government is   
    DC>     nationalizing Commodore USA's remnants to avoid trademark conflict.   
      
   Nice try, land-lubber.   
      
    DC>  2. The names of the companies expressing interest in the Amiga product   
    DC>     line have been mistranscribed -- "Sam sung on the topic, NOT   
    DC>     "Samsung." "Who let Pat, err..." was mistakenly heard as   
    DC>     "Hewlett-Packard." "Mat sued [expletive deleted], uh...." was also   
    DC>     mistranscribed.   
      
   This one's the most likely.   
      
    DC>  1. A coalition of Asha Develder, Joyce Divina, Holly Sullivan, Paula   
    DC>     Lieberman, and others put in a bid as a woman-owned business special   
    DC>     interest to take over the Amiga line.  "Hey, we're all female, and   
    DC>     mostly friendly, so the name "Amiga" is a natural for us!   Ms   
    DC>     Lieberman was, however, noticed muttering darkly about Kiki effects,   
    DC>     Politically Correct Advertising, Catherine the Grape, and how   
    DC>     refreshing it would be to hear an adult male soprano voice used in   
    DC>     the new ad campaign to come...   
      
   You've just bought yourself a whole world of trouble...   
      
   Todd Sullivan   
      
   ... "'People, can't we all just get along?!?'" - Ed   
      
   --- Spot 1.3b Unregistered   
    * Origin: Todd's Spot In Orlando (1:3613/1275.12)