What kind of an Amiga owner are you?   
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    1. Who's really responsible the Amiga's "death" ?   
       a) God   
       b) Bill Clinton, John M., Jean C., etc.   
       c) Marc Barrett   
       d) Irv the Ghoul & Mehdi Ali   
      
    2. A good clone is:   
       a) 486DX/66 MHz running Windows 3.1 with 16MB of RAM and 1GB drive.   
       b) the same system running OS/2 2.2 instead of Windows.   
       c) the same system running NeXTStep.   
       d) a dead one.   
      
    3. If someone were to give me a clone for free, I would:   
       a) be speechless ... oh, the joy of Windows ... I can't wait to sit   
          through the bootup procedure.  Oooooh, that drive thrashing   
          sounds marvelous!   
       b) thank him/her, then dedicate the clone to playing Doom every so   
          often.   
       c) thank him/her, then quickly sell it to buy another Amiga (and   
          remember to cross his/her name off your Christmas mailing list).   
       d) open the machine quickly and salvage all the neat toys for my   
          Amiga.   
      
    4. Your friend came over to your house and found a nondescript computer   
       on the floor next to the door.  You told him that it is:   
       a) a clone.  I am upgrading the CPU and motherboard for more memory   
          so I can run the latest versions of Windows applications.   
       b) a clone.  I am getting it fixed soon so I can get on with my   
          life.   
       c) a clone.  Wanna buy it?  Cheap?   
       d) a clone.  Dutifully serving its current function as a high-tech   
          doorjam ever since you bought your Amiga.   
      
    5. So you've bought a new game that cost you a good bit of lunch money   
       but the copy protection scheme won't let it run on your A3000/A4000/   
       A-anything except the developer's decrepit old A500 with severe   
       drive alignment problem. (or, alternatively, you purchased an   
       otherwise respectable "pain"'ing program that came with a dongle ...   
       pick your own scenario) your reaction, as an Amiga owner, is:   
       a) so ... what else is new?   
       b) write nasty letters and vowed never buy another product from them   
          again.   
       c) inform them of their sins and urge them to repent.   
       d) recommend the clone version of the product to your clone-owning   
          friends.   
      
    6. Now that Commodore US went "poof", my Amiga:   
       a) doesn't work anymore.  All of a sudden there's this weird   
          flashing red box on the screen: "GURU MEDITATION:   
          8001deadbeef00f2 1000", it said.  After consulting the owner's   
          manual, I discover that the Larkin chip had just self-destructed.   
       b) I have no life ... let alone an Amiga.   
       c) wears a new "Commodore Deathbed Vigil" T-shirt, and I'll never   
          wash it!   
       d) is humming along just fine, thank you for asking ... been that   
          way for years.   
      
    7. Amidst rumors of the Samsung purchase of Amiga technologies, I:   
       a) am so ashamed. Anybody wanna get this useless A4000 off me?   
          Cheap?   
       b) remember buying something incredibly cheap from them a long time   
          ago.   
       c) remember buying something incredibly cost-effective from them a   
          long time ago ... and wouldn't you know it ... it's still working   
          today!   
       d) am looking forward to possible licensing of Amiga technologies so   
          there will finally (possibly) be Amiga clones and the software   
          market will expand and the world be such a nice place and the sun   
          will shine just a little brighter each day and the Amiga   
          programmers should be worshipped (and wear capes if they wanted   
          to) ...   
      
    8. When I see a clone user engaging in such an unsavory act of ...   
       piracy, I: (Whatcha thinking?  This is a PG13 echo, eh!)   
       a) ask them for a copy of the software, oh please ... can I have   
          one?  huh?   
       b) call the FBI..."uh shunny, whatchasay, a pirate clown? with   
          floppy ears?"   
       c)    
       d) cross your fingers and hope they never waddle through our Amiga   
          pond.   
      
    9. From the day I bought my Amiga, my life has been:   
       a) going downhill. I remember how popular I once was, when I was   
          part of "the crowd". All those clone ex-friends feverishly   
          exchanging the latest warez. Hey, DuDZ, wanna copy of Excel for a   
          few blank disks?   
       b) why should I tell you? In fact, why the heck am I reading this   
          stuff now?  I should have been online answering my love letters.   
       c) improving ... now I am dating a girl/guy from across the country.   
          Oh, I met her/him on on-line networks and we hit it off instantly   
           She/he does own a clone/Mac, though.   
       d) what life?  I have no life.  It's just me and the Amiga.    
             
      
   10. Who "looks like a professor gone terribly wrong" ?   
       a) why, me, of course!   
       b) Joyce Divina   
       c) Skal Lorett   
       d) Eric V. Petersen   
      
   and lastly,   
      
   Zeemah:   
       a) is a unique alcoholic windshield washing fluid.   
       b) is a perfect substitute if you happen to need battery acid on a   
          dirt road ... away from all known civilizations.   
       c) produces a bunch of annoying commercials.   
       d) zucks.   
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