From: LG-usteen@asdf.fi

Michael Royce Sparks, a resident of California's Olive Dell Ranch
nudist resort, detested the noise of his neighbours' generator and
their comments on him being 'sinful', but he snapped only when they
bought him a hot dog. Weeks later, a prison inmate relayed his
confession that the insult of a $1 wiener had led him to invite the
couple, in their 70s, to the bunker beneath his trailer - for killing.
  A detective sent to investigate had just detected a foul odour there
when colleagues shared text messages wherein Sparks, 62, replied to a
relative's 'I am watching news. Something going on where you live.'
with 'It's me. Committing suicide today. Take care. Bye.' and then the
clarification 'Chopped up my neighbors'.  The detective's presence
sparked a genuine suicide attempt, but the rifle jammed.
  While Dan and Stephanie Menard's body parts were found in black
plastic bags and Sparks's orange bucket, their dog could not be
recovered: after killing Cuddles, Sparks had flung the body to the
coyotes.  He has not yet spoken in court, whereas another resident of
the nudist colony who offered the excuse 'My dog ate my hearing aid'.

     Research my sicko pal:  Michael Royce Sparks
     Michael Royce Sparks = Slice, hack, & spray! More!
     ... So recipe is 'Mr Hack & Slay'


And we have the tale of April Schmitt's engagement ring.  Driving
home from the Pittsburgh airport after a business trip, Schmitt
noticed that the ring, from 1992, was missing its diamond.  She
remembered that, during retrieval of her luggage, 'my hand got stuck
between the suitcase and the edge of the carousel; it pinched my hand,
so I pulled my hand back really quickly'.  Rushing back to the airport,
she was joined in her search by engineer Tom Riordan, electrician
Steve Turkaly, and two other maintenance workers.  She gave up after
90 minutes but was summoned back four hours later: the maintenance
staff reported success after having removed panels from the carousel
and scraped through the floor-level dirt with taped-together
paint-stirrers.  Schmitt said: 'It restored my faith in humanity.'

Somewhat of an anti-gram:
     April Schmitt = This calm trip



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--- SoupGate-DOS v1.05
 * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)