
Okee-dokems, couple of notes.  First, the usual "moocha apologies,
but I'm completely ignoring your silly copyright laws.
Please don't sue me! (Peace, mon!)  This has lots of quotes from
previous episodes, so if you don't get something in italics, don't
worry.  It takes place right after "Ascension" ends. Feel free to
send nitpicks 'n comments to Isoma.  Quick dedications: to my sister
'cause she's leaning over my shoulder telling me to dedicate this to
her, and to the little green men in the spaceships that helped me with it.

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This story is based on the characters created by Cris Carter, Ten Thirteen
Productions and Fox Broadcasting. Used without permission and no infringement
is intended.

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	    STARS
	    by Stacy Cowley (Isoma@aol.com)
	    (10/25/94)
	
    He climbed slowly, not really wanting to reach his destination. Why
had he even come back here? He had asked, and answered, that question
a thousand times on the way up. For peace. For answers. To end it.
    Krychek was gone. Duane Barry was dead. For everyone else, it was over.
A tragic loss, yes, but a routine one. Grieve for a few days, comfort
the family, then get on with life.
    He reached the summit of the mountain. Above him were the stars-
hundreds, billions of them.
    He'd spent most of his life looking at the stars. When he was a kid,
he'd sneak out at night to lay in the backyard and become a part of all
the vastness. Sometimes Samantha would come. 
    <I don't like the darkness, Fox.>
    It used to scare her, but she loved sneaking outside with her older
brother, defying their parents.
    <But you'll protect me, won't you? After all, you're my big brother,
quick as a fox and twice as smart!>
    Then she'd smile and laugh at her oft-repeated joke. The day after
she'd disappeared, he'd made his parents start calling him Mulder.
    <Mulder, I need your help! Mulder!>
    Scully! He jerked upright, then slumped over again. Just another
hallucination. For three days now, her face, her voice...
    <Are you OK, Mulder?>
    <I wouldn't do this for anyone but you, Fox.>
    <I'd consider it more than just a professional loss if you
left the bureau.>
    He hadn't answered.
    Why was he so cold, always so cold?
    I'm afraid. He had seen too much and been hurt too badly. So many lies,
so many denials. The 11-year-old kid couldn't understand why no one would
believe him when he told them what had happened to Samantha. Repressed
trauma, said the therapists. Overactive imagination, said his mother.
Lying little bastard, said his father. He'd left the day he turned 18.
    A cold breeze blew across the mountain. He shivered, pulling his coat
tightly around him.
    <I've seen little girls.>
    [Are they hurting them?]
    <Oh yeah, sometimes it hurts real bad. And you just want to die...>
    ...you just want to die...
    ...to die...
    "NOOO!" he yelled wildly, damning the stars and everything beneath them.  
    "Not Sam, not Scully. NOT SCULLY!!!!!!!!"
    Not Scully- not like Sam- not again... not again... not again-
for the first time in years, he'd let down his guard, he'd trusted someone
completely- and he'd gotten her killed, or worse. If the government had her,
she was dead. If 'they' had her, she might as well be. Like Sam.
    "NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!"
    The stars shone on, blank and uncaring.
    And he began to cry- huge, racking sobs, suppressed for years;
grieving for Sam as he never had and for Scully as he never should have
had to. Grieving for a world in which no one could be trusted, in which
people like Samantha and Scully- and yes, himself- had to be sacrificed.
And accepting, finally, that they were gone.
    Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out her necklace.  
    It gleamed in the starlight, fiery and brilliant. Give it back to her.
When you find her. Gently, he laid it upon the ground. He ran his fingers
lightly over it, tenderly, locking it's feeling away in his mind. Then
whispered, "Goodbye, Dana."
    He stood up slowly, turned, and went back down the mountain.
    
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Based on characters created by Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions,
and Fox Broadcasting.  No copyright infringement intended (love ya all!).  

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