
NEW AGE CLASSES OFFERED AT THE "SPINAL CIRCLE" BOOKSTORE

1. WHOLISTIC WEALTH

This course has helped hundreds of doctors, lawyers and other 
parasites to feel okay about being obscenely rich. Material 
things are but "maya" (=illusion) -- still, they _are_ your reward 
for virtue in a previous life. Learn to exploit your inner riches 
while holding on to your outer ones. Don't share the wealth, share 
the experience! (Tuition is tax-deductible.)

2. BEYOND VEGETARIANISM: NEW PATHS IN PRIVATION

Gave up meat but still feel guilty? So you should! Since you are 
what you eat, eventually every vegetarian turns cannibal. This 
course introduces you to inanimate eating. You too can suck rocks 
and learn to like it! The course is a pre-requisite to Anaerobic 
Stasis ("Good health through hypoventilation"), which explains how 
to eke out a miserable existence without immoral exploitation of 
the atmosphere.

3. NEW AGE POLITICS

Recent developments in decentralized degradation and appropriate 
technocracy. Facilitator and Zen demagogue Jerry Brown will 
demonstrate the feasibility of harnessing politicians as a source of 
wind power. A Marin Corpse recruiter will appear on behalf of the 
Baloney Alliance to enlist no-nukes narcs and pacifist police. 
Others to be announced after security precautions are finalized.
 
IN THE FLOW

The addled age of aquarius is over. Wishing away the holistic horror 
of everyday life didn't work. We were suckers to buy back parodies 
of our dreams of total transformation from holistic hucksters, 
consciousness con-men and awareness entrepeneurs. Their "alternative 
life-styles" only offer less of more of the same.

There's NOTHING NEW about a New Age of mysticism, masochism and 
money. "We ought not to act and speak as though we were asleep" 
(Heraclitus). The astrologers have only predicted the future; the 
point is to create it. Don't burn out, don't sell out, BREAK out. 
Why wallow in escapism when we can really escape?


       {adapted from a 1979 article written by Bob Black}
