
	FROM UNITED PRESS SYNDICATE
	FOR RELEASE: WEEK OF JUNE 7, 1992	
	NEWS OF THE WEIRD by Chuck Shepherd.


	LEAD STORY
	At the 80th birthday celebration for Kim Il-sung; the North Korean
dictator received as gifts a container of blood from 800 snapping turtles,
considered an aphrodisiac, from his son, and a quilt and sleeping mat made
of down from the necks of 700,000 sparrows. A 100-room museum houses more
than 87,000 presents given to him during his 44-year reign. (A gift from a
correspondent from the British Broadcasting Corp. was politely refused by
North Korean officials because, first, it was merely a BBC sweatshirt, and
second, it was not gift-wrapped.)

	POLICE BLOTTER
	--From the "Police" column of the Brooklyn Park (Minn.) Sun-Post
Feb. 19, 1992: "Police department, 5400 85th Ave. N., Feb. 11: An officer
found a quarter in the seat of a squad car. The coin was inventoried and
tagged, as required."

	--Kevin E. Tibbs, 21, was arrested in Brunswick, Md., in February.
According to officer Robin Purdum, Tibbs had attempted to steal a parking
meter and was trying to conceal it in his trousers when stopped. 

	--Randall Eugene Davis, who has only one leg, was arrested in
Clarinda, Iowa, in March, suspected of stealing a truck. The truck
contained animals, among which was a Labrador retriever with only three
legs. (This guy should have stolen the parking meter. -Ed.)

	--In September, Michigan state trooper Fred Sweeney pursued a
speeder doing 101 mph on a state road. Although the speeder had a head
start, Sweeney came upon his car in an abandoned driveway. Looking around,
he noticed that in a nearby field all the cows were clustered together and
seemed to be staring at one particular spot on the ground. When Sweeney
approached the cows, he found the driver of the car attempting to hide in
the tall grass and arrested him.

	--Mary Ann Linder of Nashville was arrested for shoplifting at a
Victoria's Secret store in October. When asked by clerks in a dressing
room to hand over stolen items, Linder stripped off $1,400 worth of
lingerie and was released to police. In the backseat of a squad car, she
left two more pairs of underpants and several hangers that had not been
recovered by employees. At the jail, guards found $300 more in stolen
clothing. Final tally: 30 panties, 20 bras, 4 robes, and one pair of men's
silk pajamas.

	--From the "Police Beat" column of the Upper Arlington (Ohio)
News, Dec 4. 1991: "A woman who lives in the 1900 block of Tremont Road
reported to police that while she was watching cable television around
11:15 p.m., Saturday, the channel changed to a pay-per-view adult movie.
She changed the channel and after it happened again, she spotted two
teen-age boys outside her living room window holding a remote control. She
said the boys fled on foot."

	--Gilbert DaSilva, 46, was arrested in Peabody, Mass., in January
a week after he assaulted another man during a heated argument in Greg's
Lounge over which of the men had a larger penis. When the victim exposed
himself to prove his claim, DaSilva slashed the man's organ, but the man
was able to get to a hospital in time to save the organ.

	CREME DE LA WEIRD
	In December, a 51-year-old man with no criminal record was
referred to psychiatrists after being picked up by police in Parma, Ohio.
He had just purchased 19 guns from a K-mart, told the clerk, "not to come
out tonight," and paid $7,000 for fabric at another store after telling
the clerk that it was for "covering up bodies." Parma police recognized
the man as the one picked up the week before: Spotted placing doughnuts on
headstones at a local cemetery, the man explained, "People get hungry."
Said a police officer, "We could have had a disaster."

	LEAST COMPETENT PERSON
	Peter Robert Arnoldi was apprehended shortly after burgularizing
the Co-op Oil Association office in Nicollet, Minn., in March. His arrest
was facilitated by the fact that his checkbook (with driver's license
inside) had slipped out of his pocket during the heist getaway. Arresting
officer Dan Wersal, who found Arnoldi hiding in a truck near his home,
said he told Arnoldi, "I've got your checkbook," to which Arnoldi replied,
"Yeah, I know. I'm fucked."

	THE DIMINISHING VALUE OF LIFE
	One man was shot in the head and another was critically injured in
March in a subway car in Queens, N.Y., after a gunfight. According to
witnesses, the melee was precipitated when one of the men accidentally
stepped on the others foot.

(Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 8306, St. Petersburg,
Fla. 33738.)

COPYRIGHT 1992 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE 4900 Main St. Kansas City, Mi.
64112: (816) 932-6600

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