If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation...



Picard:         Sigma Indri, that's the star,
        So, Data, please, how far? How far?


Data:           Our ship can get there very fast
        But still the trip will last and last
        We'll have two days til we arrive
        But can the Indrans there survive?


Picard:         LaForge, please give us factor nine.


LaForge:        But, sir, the engines are off-line!


Picard:         Off-line! But why? I want to go!
        Please make it so, please make it so!


Riker:          But sir, if Geordi says we can't,
        We can't, we mustn't, and we shan't,
        The danger here is far too great!


Picard:         But surely we must not be late!

Troi:           I'm sensing anger and great ire.


Computer:       Alert! Alert! The ship's on fire!

Picard:         The ship's on fire? How could this be?
        Who lit the fire?


Riker:          Not me.


Worf:           Not me.

Picard:         Computer, how long til we die?


Computer:       Eight minutes left to say good-bye.


Data:           May I suggest a course to take?
        We could, I think, quite safely make
        Extinguishers from tractor beams
        And stop the fire, or so it seems...


Geordi:         Hooray! Hooray! You've saved the day!
        Again I say, Hooray! Hooray!


Picard:         Mr. Data, thank you much.
        You've saved our lives, our ship, and such.


Troi:           We still must save the Indran planet --


Data:           Which (by the way) is made of granite...

Picard:         Enough, you android. Please desist.
        We understand -- we get your gist.
        But can we get our ship to go?
        Please, make it so, PLEASE make it so.


Geordi:         There's sabotage among the wires
        And that's what started all the fires.

Riker:          We have a saboteur? Oh, no!
        We need to go! We need to go!

Troi:           We must seek out the traitor spy
        And lock him up and ask him why?

Worf:           Ask him why? How sentimental.
        I say give him problems dental.

Troi:           Are any Romulan ships around?
        Have scanners said that they've been found?
        Or is it Borg or some new threat
        That we haven't even heard of yet?
        I sense no malice in this crew.
        Now what are we supposed to do?

Crusher:        Captain, please, the Indrans need us.
        They cry out, "Help us, clothe us, feed us!"
        I can't just sit and let them die!
        A doctor MUST attempt -- MUST try!

Picard:         Doctor, please, we'll get there soon.

Crusher:        They may be dead by Tuesday noon.


        *COMMERCIAL BREAK, COMMERCIAL BREAK
        HOW LONG WILL THESE DUMB ADS TAKE?*


Worf:           The saboteur is in the brig.
        He's very strong and very big.
        I had my phaser set on stun --
        A zzzip! A zzzap! Another one!
        He would not budge, he would not fall,
        He would not stun, no, not at all!
        He changed into a stranger form
        All soft and purple, round and warm.

Picard:         Did you see this, Mr. Worf?
        Did you see this creature morph?

Worf:           I did and then I beat him fairly.
        Hit him on the jaw -- quite squarely.

Riker:          My commendations, Klingon friend!
        Our troubles now are at an end!

Crusher:        Now let's get our ship to fly
        And orbit yonder Indran sky!

Picard:         LaForge, please tell me we can go...?

Geordi:         Yes, sir, we can.

Picard:         Then make it so!

Kevin:          There's only one thing that I need to know
        Why does my stinking leg hurt so
        Crusher I think I need your aid
        Please go get me a friggin band aid


                        THE END
