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                  $:  t  R  A  N  K   %   a  S  C  I  I  :$
               ,,d$P,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,j$i,,
                $"`                                      `"`$
                $  what do we have here? i was told that i  $
                $  can't become a full fledged ascii pimp   $
                $  until i make a colly, so here i am with  $
                $  my 300-somethin line hunk of crap. yes,  $
                $  i decided to release this crap even tho  $
           .... $  its crap. trank takes my crap work every $
           :    $  month tho, so it's cool.             ...........
               ,$i              .......                 :         :
            " "$P""""""""""""" :     : """"""""""""""" :         :
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                                      :
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                                      :
                                      :
                                      .
                        ..........    :     .....
             ..... .....:        :... :.... :   : .....
             :   : :    :........:          :...:     :....
             :   : : ,yyp*qyy,,yyp*qyyq,yyp*qyyqpyyp*qyy, :
             :...: : $$$   $$$$$$   $$$$$$   $$$$$$   $$$ : ...
              ...  : $$$   $$$$$$   $$$$$$   $$$$$$   $$$ : : :
              : :  : $$$bnnnnn$$$      $$$bnd$$$$$$bnd$$$ : : :
              :.: : :...........    ........ """$$$ ......: :.:
                  :.:  :...... : A colly by Kaleidas. :...:
                               : (18116b in 366 lines)  :..........
                               : Completed: 11:20pm pst, 4/22/96  :
                               :....... ................: .. .....:
                                      :                .   :
                                      :                :...:
                                      :    ...
                                  ....:    :.:
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                :  ;;; ;;;  ;;; ;;;  ;;; ;;;,,;;;   ;;;;    :
                :  ;;; ;;;  ;;; ;;;,,;;; ;;;,,,,, ;;;  ;;;  :
            . ..:...........................................:. .  .
                :                                           :
                :  1) fongu             5) flood            :
                :  2) biproducts        6) egod             :
                :  3) modemland         7) enygma           :
                :  4) blah              8) whodini's magik  :
          .  . .:...................  ......................:..  .
                :                :.:  :                     :
                .                     :                     .
                                      :
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                               :..:   .         ........
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                            :...:     :     :     : ...:
                             .....    .     :     :
                             :...:          :.....:
                                      .

                                      :
                                      .


                                      .

















(1)-[ fongu ]----  -    -


              ............................
   .......... :              .........   : ................................
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       :          :.......:  :..... .....    :.:    :           .............
       :............:               :   :           :           :           :
 ... ,yyyp***qyyp**qyyyp***qyyy, ,yyyp***qyyyqypyyyp***q$$$"$$ :...........:
 :   $$$$     $$$ny$$$$     $$$$y$$$$   . $$$$"$$$$ :   $$$bn$$yq  :  pyyq ....
 :   $$$$ ... $$$$"$$$$ ... $$$"`"$$$   : $$$$y$$$$ :   $$$$ $$$$  :  $$$$    :
 :   $$$$ :   $$$$y$$$$     $$$byd$$$   : $$$P""$$ :   $$$$ $$$$  :  $$$$    :
 :   $$$$ :   """""$$$$     $$$$"$$$$   : $$$bypd$$ :   $$$$y$$$$  :  $$$$ ...:
 n nn$$$$kal   n nn$$$$bnnnd$$$$n$$$$   : $$$$"$$$$ :   $$$"$$$bnnnd$$$$
 ... $$$$ .                 . ..... .   : ...  """""""""$$$b , .........
      ... :    f      o  n  :    g  :...:  u   $$$$bnnnd$$$$           : ....
      :   :.................: t   a    s  t e ....... g   e      w   d :    :
      :......:     ...  :.... ..... ......... :     : .................: ....
             ....  : :  ..... :   : . ....... :.....:     .....  :...... :  :
             :..:  : :  :     :...: : :.........:   ..... :   : ..       :..:
                   :.:  :...........:    .....      :.... :   : .:
                          :.:            :...:            :...:


(2)-[ biproducts ]----  -    -





                            ..... .
                             ::::....... .::: :.
                             :::.    ::::  ...
         . ................. ::::  :: .:: :::: ..................... .
          . .              : ::::  . :::: :::: :             .....:.  .
         . .:..............: ::::....::::.:::: :.............: pyyqn n  n
        n nnpyyyp***qyyyqnpyyyp***qyyyq pyyyp***qyyyqypyyyp***q$$$$
           .$$$$     $$$$ $$$$     $$$$y$$$$     $$$$"$$$$     $$$$
           i$$$'     $$$$ $$$$    ;$$$"$P'`    $$$$y$$$$   :i$$$!
           $$$$.    ,$$$$ $$$$,   T$$$Qgd$b,     $$$P""$$    $$$$,
           :$$$:   ~"$$$ $$$"        "$$$$     $$$bypd$$    `$$$$
            $$$$bnnnnd$$$ !$$b          $$$$bnnnd$$$$$$$$$,   ,$$$$kal
         n n$$$$          :$$$q                       `"""""""""""""""
                           `"""





(3)-[ modemland ]----  -    -




                                      q,
          ,gnnqyypnng,   .pnnq,   .pnnq$b  .pnnq, . ,gnnqyypnng,
       .:i$:  .$$   !$i j$'  `$i j$'  :$$.:$'  :$i j$'. .$$ . `$L
        .$$.   $$:   $$ $$.   $$:$$:   $$ $$"""""` $$ :  $$   .$$
$"$      T$,   "".  ,$P `TbyydP'.`Tbyyd$$:`TbyydP' `T,   "".  dP',$$$'     $"""$""$"""""""""',pyy,         ,qyyp****qyyp ,qyyp****qyyp ,qyyp****q$$$'      """""$"$ """$"""',$$$'         ,$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$' ,$$$'  $""$$"""$  $ $',$$$'         ,$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$' ,$$$',, "$ $$ $ $  $ ',$$$'    ,kal',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$' ,$$$',$$, """""" $""$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$'    ,$$$' ,$$$',$$$$, "$$""""   ,$$$bnnnnd$$$',$$$bnnnnd$$$',$$$'    ,$$$',$$$bnnnnd$$$' ,$$$',$$$$$$, $""""""$                        """'                        """'                $$"""""""""$ $"""""$ """""""$""""""""""$ """" $ """""$"""""$ """"""""$ """"""$ """""$""""" $ $ """"$ $""""" $ """""$""""""$ $"$""""" $ """"$ $"""""$ $""""""""""$$" $ $""""$"""""" " """""$"$""""""$ """""$ $ """""""""""""$ $ $ $ $ ""$"""""$"""$ "" $""""""""""""$"$"""""""      """""""" """""""""""""""""" """ """"$ kal $""$""""""            """                                                 $     $  "                                                                      """""""


(4)-[ blah ]----  -    -


                                        $"""$
               $"""""""""$              $ ` $
               $ ``````` $              """""          $"$
               """""""""""                             """

                   s i r  d e a t h ' s . . .
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               $ ::: $ :: $$ :::: $$ $$ $$ :::: $$ $$ :::: $$ $ :::: $
               $ ::: $ :: $$ :::: $$ $$ $$ :::: $$ $$ :::: $$ $ :::: $
               $ ::: $ `` $$i `` ;$; $$ ;$i `` ;$$ $$ ```` $$ $ :::: k
               $ ::: """" l$$,"",$P  $$  Y$,"",$$$ $$ """" $$ " :::: a
               $ ::::::: """`""`  """"  `""`"" ""    $ "" `````` l
               $ ````````````` $               $"""""$   """""""""""""
               """""""""""""""""   $""""""""$  $ ::: $
                                   $ :::::: $  $ ``` $
                                   $ `````` $  """""""
                                   """"""""""

(5)-[ flood ]----  -    -






` .                                                          . `dg,
            `  ,   .*qyyq,            .    : ,ggp  +,          .$$$P ,
.'        . ,d$$:    :$$$ d$$l  ,  qy,    .,$$$'. :,$b  ,gdP' `l$$$'
            .I$$l     $$$.`$$:.d    l$$i .,$$$'   ,$$P d$$l'  :$$$l
 . _ __  _   :$$$:   .$P'`,dl :$: _ .$$$i $$$' _ ,$$P l$$$: _ l$$$  ____ _  __
              I$$l dP    d$$. $$l  . l$$$ T$':  ,$$P  $$$l . .$$$l
  l  o  o  d  :$$$.`'   i$$l :$$$:   :$$$l `" + "`   l$$$:.  i$$$   1  9  9  6
         .     I$$l  . :$$$:  I$$l    l$$$i         :$$$l   :$$$l
   ~ ~~~~~~~ ~ :$$$: ~ i$$l ~ :$$$: ~~:$$$: ~~ ~~~~ `T$$: ~ l$$$   ~   ~~ ~~ .
             .  I$$i  d$$$:    `T$b   ,$P'            `+  ,$$$:              '
                :$$T" `"*        `'                         `'          .  `
                '`                                                       kal
                                                                         `  `





(6)-[ egod ]----  -    -




     maestro's ..
                              d$$b
               ,,,,,,'''''''' `""` ,,,,
""""""""~ ,,'''                        '''', ~"""""""""~  *qyy, ~"""""""""""""""IIii:  ,yyp****qyyy,  ,yyp****q$$b, ,yyypuuqyyy, : ,yyp***q$$$$ Ii::::::::::::::!!::: i$$$'  .. $$$$ i$$$'    `$$$$y$$$'    `$$$i i$$$' . `$$$$ !:`   ':::::::::i:::: $$$$      $$$$ $$$$      $$$""$$$ ..   $$$$y$$$$ :: ;$$$'.::.   .::::::iiiIi::: $$$$p****d$$$$ $$$$   :: $$$yy$$$ ::   $$$""$$ :: $$$$ ::::::::::iiiiI$$$Ii:: "T      *qyq l$$$,    ,$$$'l$$$,    ,$$$byyd$$ :: `$$$i i::` `:iiIIII$$$$$Iii d$b bnnnnnn$$$  "T$$buud$$$L  "T$$bnnd$$$P""T$$$,`` ,$$$$ Ii:. .iII$$$$$$$""""~ `"`,                    `$$$$        ,    "" """""""""""` ~""""""""""""""""""""""~  '',,,,,,     ,g$$$b, '"` ,,,,,''  ~""""""""""""""""""""""""""~ kal ~"                  '''' $$$$$$$ '''''
                       `T$$$P'






(7)-[ enygma ]----  -    -




     ........
     :      :     ..............
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            .     :            :   ,   :                            :
 $$$P"""T$$$ pggp***q$$$  ,d   :  ,$ ,ggp****$$$ $$$p***qgggp***qggqpggp***qgg,
 $$$'.  :$$$ $$$     $$$,d$$   . ,$$.$$$.    $$$.$$$     $$$.    $$$$$$     $$$
 $$$ :  .$$$ $$$ ::  $$$ $$$    ,$$$:$$$:    $"""$    :$$$.    $$'`$ ::  $$$
 $$%:    $$""$  . .%$$ $$$.   :$$$ $$$.    " ::  ,     $$$:    $$bgQ$.    $$$
:$$$buuud$$bugg$  :  $$$ $$%: . .$$$ $$$     $QyyyQ$    .%$$.    "$$$$$:   .$$$
 $$$ .  .pgq $$$  .`T$$$ $$$     $$$ $$$    .%$$"$$$ ::  $$$     p$$$$$.   :$$$
 $$$buuud$$$n$$$. :  `T$ $$$bnuud$$%:T$$buuud$$$ $$$    ,$$$.    $$P$$$buuud$$$
     .      :     :    " ,pyq,   $$$ypyq     $$$  `T.           ,P' .      `"""
     :      :     :      T$$$P"""""""""""""""""` .. ` . .......... .  . ...
     :      :     :.... . `"`                                       . kal :
     :......:                                                       :.....:





(8)-[ whodini's magik ]----  -    -





                         $""""""""""""""""""""""""""""$
                         $ $""""""""""""""""""""$ $"$ $
$"""""$                  $ $ $$$  $$$  $$$ $$$$ $ """ $
""""$ """"""""$  $"""""""" $ $$$  $$$nn$$$ """" """"$ $  $"""""""""$
    """"""""$ """" $"""""$ $ """""""" pgq**$$$""$$$ $ """" $"""""$ """""""""$
            """"""""     $ """"$ $$$$ $$$  $$$  $$$ $ k"""""     """""""""$ $
                         $ $"$ $ """" """  """  """ $ a                   $ """$                         $ """ """""""""""""""""""""" l                   """"""                         """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""

96Mar27 11:59 pm from: " ; "

 anyway, i want to talk about taking a crap.  it's stricken me that many people
spend tons and tons of money and time trying to convince themselves that they
don't need to defecate.  people have body hair removed, natural odors covered
up, teeth cleaned and bleached, hair colored and chemically burned into certain
shapes then covered with plastic, faces are covered in layer upon layer of
expertly laid make up, contact lenses change eye colors. finally people cloth
their bodies with the most elaborately designed clothes with every line and
wrinkle being the result of thousands of years of tradition and metaphor.
all of this time and effort is spent to make one as comfortable as possible
with their self image so that they can convince their ego that they have the
upper hand in some social situation (party or whatever).  everyone has a mental
picture of what they want to look like, and tries to achieve this as closely as
possible.  the closer they come, the better they feel, hence the happier they
are.  and then, just when you have come tantalizingly close to becoming your
ethereal, angelic dream self; you feel an urging in your bowels.  you soon are
squating down on a porcelain bowl, spreading your cheeks and ejecting a vile,
disgusting substance.  this substance is so hideous that it's mere mentioning
by any of it's common names is considered vulgar in most company.  it is
accompanied by an equally vile odor, which completely destroys any hint of your
former demi-godly visage. just moments before, you were soaring above the slimy
plane of dirt that being a human is, and now you are firmly attatched to it.
  when you think of the monumentous people in the media and the imposing figuresand personalities they wield; it is somewhat strange to think that it all comes
crashing down every time they sit on the toilet. think of how self conscious andinsignificant you would feel in the presence of the president, or grim reaper,
or kate moss, or the queen of england, or even god himself.  then think of how
that would just shatter if they were on the can. it's kind of cool.

                                                     - kaleidas@linex.com

""""$   g r      e     e      t  s   $"$ g,"""$ " $"""""""""""""""""""""""""$
$"$ $ $"""""""""""$""""""$"""$""$$"$ """ $$$g,"""""   holo, tmm, chex, whod,""$
$ $ """ $""""""""""""""""""""""""$ "$$$"$$$$$$D      hiro, prime, fah, daize, $
""""""""" $"$ $""$ $""""""$ $""$ """"""""$$$`        enig, epi, jaded, msd.  $
$"""$ $"""" $ $  $ $ """$ $ $  $ $"""""$ `  $""""""$    rival, cia, s0ap.  $""
""""" """"""" """" """""" " """" """"""""""""" """" """""""""""""""""""""""""
@BEGIN_FILE_ID.DI
           /_       ______
____________/____. /     /______/ __________
\         _/     |/     /      /__\___     /
 \        \      /     /._____/.     _    / .
. \________\_____\______|______|_________/ .:
:. Trank!Ascii Colly Division Presents..  .::
:::.. "Crap" by Kaleidas [TRANK/BASIC] ..::::
@END_FILE_ID.DIZ

(0)-[ eof (thanks to whod for the diz) ]----  -    -
