XPost: fr.rec.boissons.vins, pl.soc.prawo.podatki, tw.bbs.soc.tainan 
 XPost: alt.sex.extensions.natural.penis 
  
 Virgin Radio-Johnny Boy (21/August/1998) 
  
 Certainty level: 60% 
  
 On Saturday 15 August 1998 I attended a gathering of contributors to 
 newsgroup uk.misc at London's Victoria railway station. Also present was 
 Simon G, who had previously given this description of what he would be 
 wearing; 
  
 At 06:36 AM 13/8/98 GMT, Simon wrote: 
 >further clarification to aid recognition, i'll be wearing 
 >a t shirt, a brown suede waistcoat, a brown suede miniskirt, 
 >& a pair of patchwork leggings (& may have a widebrimmed straw 
 >hat, too). 
  
 It is my belief that my persecutors, who monitor my home telephone line 
 (and consequently read all modem communications including email), 
 were aware of this meeting, and may even have observed the "meat" taking 
 place. 
  
 Following the "meat" it seemed to me that one or two attempts were made by 
 my persecutors to portray me as "gay", on the basis of Simon's suede 
 miniskirt, which in their inventiveness my persecutors attributed to me, 
 not Simon. (Just for the record, Simon is hetero, and has agreed to the 
 above email extract being published.) The following item from Johnny Boy's 
 Wheels of Steel (between 7pm-11pm, Friday 21/8/98) is one such attempt. 
  
 (conversation) (J=Johnny-Boy, H=Hipster) 
  
 J: Texas of course part of V98 this weekend enjoy it if you're going. Keep 
 your eyes out on Sunday in Chelmsford for Hipster, because he's going to 
 be there. What are you going to be wearing? 
  
 H: I'll be wearing my, er, my suede shorts. 
 (sycophantic laughter) 
  
 J: and believe me he ain't joking, he ain't joking. OK coming next at Virgin 
 on the Wheels of Steel... 
  
 Why do I think Hipster's "suede shorts" refers to Simon's mini-skirt? 
 Because "suede" in both cases (obvious!); because "suede shorts" indicates 
 "gay" which they were trying to pin on me; because "shorts" = something 
 short, such as a "mini"-skirt; and because the two DJs both laughed as soon 
 as Hipster said "suede shorts", they knew what the joke was, they knew that 
 they were meant (and probably paid) to find it funny. 
  
 5862 
  
  
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