From: ygc0525@yahoo.com 
  
 The following is an excerpt from the book Dateworthy: Get the Relationship 
 You Want by Dennie Hughes. 
  
  
  
 Great Dates 
  
 You know what I love about dating shows? 
  
 The producers, in an effort to make good TV, rack their brains to come up 
 with really fun and interesting ways for a couple to interact. 
  
 Forget just meeting for coffee or a meal. They have them learn how to polka. 
 Go to a ceramics class and make personalized mugs. Dog walking for charity. 
 All terrific Great Date Dos. Sure, all their good intentions get shot to 
 hell later on with the prerequisite drunken-hot-tub thing, but I think those 
 first fifteen minutes are pure inspiration! 
  
 If you want your own Great Date Production, it's going to be up to you to do 
 a little behind-the-scenes producing and planning to make the magic happen. 
 (Minus the martinis and bikinis, of course, unless that's your idea of a 
 worthy dating experience . . . if so, get thee back to chapter 1!) 
  
 Oh sure, in a perfect world, the big dating scene will go like this: Guy 
 calls, has two exciting plans for you to choose from, and executes the 
 details perfectly. The female lead's only responsibility is to look cute, 
 provide fabulous conversation, sit back, and enjoy the ride. 
  
 Cut! Not as in "cut and print." As in cut that out! 
  
 Haven't you learned by now that anything Dateworthy -- including the actual 
 date itself -- is all about what you put into it? You may not get perfect, 
 but if you want a production that's at the least fun, memorable, and has the 
 possibility of a sequel, then it's up to you to help direct this date. 
  
 So, with Oscar in mind (the award, silly, not some guy!), here are some 
 ideas to get you pumped about your Great Date Production. 
  
 Where to Go 
  
 Oh, sure, everyone knows the rule: Whoever does the asking out should have 
 an idea of what to do. (They are also "expected" to pay, but very often, men 
 will insist on footing the bill or at least allow you to just leave the tip. 
 Either way, you should be prepared with extra dough on top of your emergency 
 twenties if you do the asking.) 
  
 Do you have a clue what you'll say when you make the call? 
  
 Wait . . . did you just say you never do the asking? 
  
 Oh, no you didn't. Because you know being Dateworthy means taking the 
 fullest advantage of fate date moments when you may have to get the ball 
 rolling! 
  
 So I ask again: What will you say when you make the call? And, on the 
 what-I'm-sure-would-be-preferable flip side, what if he calls you and asks, 
 "What would you like to do?" 
  
 Personally, I think the ideal comeback in that instance would be: "I'll tell 
 you what: Why don't you tell me what you were thinking, and I'll tell you 
 what I was thinking, and we'll see which one is the favorite?" That way, 
 you'll see whether he really wants to hear what you think . . . or he's just 
 a man who didn't care enough about the date to make a plan. If he says, "I 
 don't know. . ." you should say, "Know what? I really want you to have an 
 idea of what you want to do to, so . . . think about it and call me back!" 
 Click. Talk about a challenge. You didn't just throw down the gauntlet -- 
 you smacked him upside the head with it. 
  
 If it's the former -- that he did have a plan, but wanted to hear your 
 ideas -- then you should be prepared to respond with an activity that 
 includes at least some of the following: 
  
 It promotes conversation. That means, no movies or loud concerts or anything 
 that keeps you both from talking to each other. 
  
 It's wallet-favorable. The last thing anyone needs is to blow the bank on a 
 first date. It's unfair to whoever is paying, and, from what I've read in 
 reader letters, it's a huge source of discomfort to women who often feel 
 "obligated" to "pay" for their meals with sex. 
  
 It's male friendly. Unless he brings up dancing or a flower show, save that 
 for a later date suggestion. Think in terms of activities that have to do 
 with eating and nothing to do with him tripping or looking stupid or in any 
 way being detrimental to the all-important male ego. 
  
 It helps you K.I.S.S. That is, helps you Keep It Short and Simple. If you 
 have a preset time limit ("I'll meet you at four, but I really have to leave 
 at about six"), you can exit a not-so-great date gracefully . . . and leave 
 a great date with anticipation about the next one. 
  
 You might also want to consider: 
  
   a.. Amusement parks. Ride the rides, go to the funhouse, share 
 nutrient-questionable food. It's actually a great place to get him talking 
 about his family and childhood. 
   b.. Cooking classes. No fooling . . . or drooling! Guys love to cook. And 
 eat. And actually have a picture in their heads of what you look like in the 
 kitchen. (He doesn't have to know it's the last time he'll see you in the 
 kitchen . . . just kidding.) 
   c.. "It's not just paintings" museums. Whether it's sports or music or a 
 chocolate exhibit, find something that you both don't have to be incredibly 
 art-knowledgeable to enjoy. Walking around also encourages hand-holding, a 
 bonus for him (remember, he's a two-headed being who's happy to get skin 
 contact). 
   d.. "Old man" sports. Bowling. Playing pool. Golf. Traditionally for old 
 dudes -- now trendy. They're games that are slow-paced with good talking 
 downtime in between, but they're enjoyable to do and encourage fun 
 competition. 
   e.. Brunch. Affordable in even five-star budget-busting restaurants, and 
 it's early enough to . . . have another date later but not too early that 
 you can't still get good sleep after your Saturday night date. 
 RelationTip: Don't suggest -- or accept a suggestion -- unless it's 
 something you really, truly are interested in doing. 
  
 Just remember: included in your "where to go" should also be "where to meet" 
 plans. Bottom line? If he's a fate date or someone you've been corresponding 
 with online, tell him you'll meet him at the venue. If he's a relative or 
 friend fix-up, a former coworker, someone from your church -- anyone where 
 there's already a built-in knowledge of each other and of each other's 
 friends -- it's okay to have him pick you up at your place, but I suggest 
 being ready to go when he gets there so that you can get back into the 
 public space. 
  
 And finally, make sure that you both know exactly where and when you're 
 supposed to meet, and that you both know how to get there. If neither of you 
 have an exact address, offer to call the restaurant for the specific 
 information, and then offer to leave it on his machine. The last thing you 
 want is to end up at Famous Johns on Sixth Avenue while he's waiting for you 
 at John's Famous on Sixth Street. 
  
 Reprinted from: Dateworthy: Get the Relationship You Want by Dennie Hughes € 
 2004 by Dennie Hughes. (November 2004; $14.95US/$21.95CAN; 1-59486-075-0) 
 Permission granted by Rodale, Inc., Emmaus, PA 18098. Available wherever 
  
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