XPost: alt.politics.homosexuality, soc.men, alt.califrnia 
 XPost: alt.religion.christian.episcopal, alt.religion.christian.lutheran, 
 alt.religion.christian.roman-catholic 
 From: jappleseed@hotmail.com 
  
 On Wed, 12 May 2004 14:44:24 +1000, Matty  
 wrote: 
  
 >Johnathan A. wrote: 
 > 
 >> On Wed, 12 May 2004 02:43:44 GMT, Phil  wrote: 
 >> 
 >> 
 >>>On Tue, 11 May 2004 12:48:41 GMT, Johnathan A. 
 >>> wrote: 
 >>> 
 >>> 
 >>>>Homo's Still At The Bizarre Behavior. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>Baltimore News 
 >>>> 
 >>>>Tuesday, May 10, 2004 
 >>>> 
 >>>>"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only 
 >>>>trying to retrieve the Gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told bemused doctors 
 >>>>in the Severe Burns Unit of Baltimore City Hospital. Tomaszewski and 
 >>>>his homosexual partner Andrew (Kiki) Farnom, had been admitted for 
 >>>>emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. 
 >>>>"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our 
 >>>>gerbil, in." he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon,' 
 >>>>my cue that he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he 
 >>>>wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, 
 >>>>thinking that the light might attract him." 
 >>>> 
 >>>>At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what 
 >>>>happened next. "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a 
 >>>>flame shot out of the tubing, igniting Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and 
 >>>>severely burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and 
 >>>>whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the 
 >>>>intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball." Tomaszewski 
 >>>>suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the impact of the 
 >>>>gerbil, while Farnom suffered first and second degree burns to his 
 >>>>anus and lower intestinal tract. 
 >>>> 
 >>>> 
 >>>>TOP 11 SCARIEST THINGS ABOUT THIS STORY 
 >>>> 
 >>>>11. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum." - Good start. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>10. "As usual,Kiki shouted out "Armageddon" - They do this frequently? 
 >>>>(Or, at least they have done this more than once). 
 >>>> 
 >>>>9. "So I peered into the tube." - I'm sorry, but that's like looking 
 >>>>through a telescope into hell. I'd rather use binoculars to stare at 
 >>>>the sun. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>8. The poor gerbil (who obviously suffers from low self esteem) being 
 >>>>shot out the guy's ass like Rocky the Flying Squirrel. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>7. Suffering a broken nose from a gerbil being launched out of 
 >>>>someone's anus. I'm just guessing, but I seriously doubt the said 
 >>>>gerbil was springtime fresh after his little journey into Kiki's 
 >>>>tunnel of love. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>6.Homosexuals walking around with these volcanic-like pockets of gas 
 >>>>in their rectums. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>5. This happened in Baltimore!. What kind of people are they there. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>4. "First and second degree burns to the anus." Wouldn't this make the 
 >>>>burning itch and discomfort of hemorrhoids a welcome relief? How does 
 >>>>one ever take a healthy dump after something like this? And the smell 
 >>>>of a burning anus must be in the top five most horrible scents on the 
 >>>>face of God's green earth. 
 >>>> 
 >>>>3. People named "Kiki" which is obviously a Polynesian word for: 
 >>>>"Idiotic homosexual men who shove rodents up their butts." 
 >>>> 
 >>>>2. Homosexuals do this kind of stuff for fun! 
 >>>> 
 >>>>1. They are living in close proximity to you! 
 >>> 
 >>>Post in archive in its entirety. 
 >>> 
 >> 
 >> 
 >> 
 >> Including your additions and deletions of course. 
 > 
 >Back that accusation up with evidence. Repost the message without the 
 >x-no-archive header. 
  
 Post a true copy yourself and provide proof that it hasn't been 
 altered by some devious cock sucker in an attempt to deny the truth 
 about homosexual behavior. 
  
  
 >Matty 
  
 --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05 
  * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)