XPost: nyc.politics, nyc.general, ny.politics 
 From: liberty@once.net 
  
 "Alvin Valkenheiser" escapes from the Bellevue again! 
  
 Our favorite mental patient is running loose again, slandering 
 "liberals" and flooding newsgroups with right-wing propaganda.  The 
 deranged Alvin Valkenheiser has dozens of schizophrenic alter-egos he 
 posts here with - a not-so-silent majority of ONE, trying to appear 
 to be many.  You can always recognize him though by the bigoted 
 nature of his posts.  Here are some of his many pseudonyms: 
  
 Dr. Egon Spengler, Dr. Peter Venkman, Alvin Valkenheiser, Thornton Mellon, 
 "Cornholio," Randy Ford, Bill Curtis, "Nothing," Monica Blowinsky, Blowhard 
 Streisand, Blabra Streisand, BOZO KRUSTY, Billy KKKlinton, Root Mean Square 
 One, LeRoy Brown, Dirty Harry Brown, Walter Goldman, Jay Heiser, Edward 
 Sampson, Black Bart, Ramone Garcia, Walter Chan, Kool Kenny, Motown Man. 
 There are more. 
  
 His diagnosis is multiple personality disorder and obsessive paranoia 
 regarding what he deludedly terms "liberals." 
  
 He has recurrent nightmares that the Clintons are going to come in 
 the middle of the night, with the men in white suits and butterfly 
 nets, to round him up and cart him back to the Bellvue mental ward. 
 I know this, because as a doctor I have had to treat this patient's 
 paranoid states and delusional multiple identities.  Dr. Egon 
 Spengler and Dr. Peter Venkman have concurred on his diagnosis. 
  
 We have tried a whole series of medications on him, as well as 
 electroconvulsive shock treatment.  The only therapy that seems to 
 work is to let him throw darts at pictures of Bill and Hillary 
 Clinton.  He giggles with delight like a little girl when a dart 
 strikes a picture, and when the dart strikes Hillary's crotch, he 
 masturbates to orgasm.  When in a jealous rage, he smears his feces 
 all over the picture of Bill Clinton. 
  
 Here is one of the actual statements made in a usenet post by this 
 patient that was useful in diagnostic evaluation: 
  
 "HIGH-HO! HIGH-HO! It's off to Bellevue I go! 
 The liberals all say so! 
 My mother knows so! 
 My father's already there, so, 
 HIGH-HO! HIGH-HO! It's off to Bellevue I go!" 
  
 --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05 
  * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)