XPost: alt.yoga, alt.evil 
 From: sikkh_del_@|del|wp.pl 
  
 Since this post is so absurd, gotta insert obligatory Monthy Python piece: 
  
 Scene 5 from "MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL": 
  
 MONKS:  [chanting]  Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. 
     [bonk] 
     Pie Iesu domine,... 
     [bonk] 
     ...dona eis requiem. 
     [bonk] 
     Pie Iesu domine,... 
     [bonk] 
     ...dona eis requiem. 
 CROWD:  A witch!  A witch! 
     [bonk] 
     A witch!  A witch! 
 MONKS:  [chanting]  Pie Iesu domine... 
 CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  We've found a witch! 
     A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  A witch!  We've got a witch!  A witch! 
     A witch!  Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn her!  We've found a witch!  We've 
     found a witch!  A witch!  A witch!  A witch! 
 VILLAGER #1:  We have found a witch.  May we burn her? 
 CROWD:  Burn her!  Burn!  Burn her!  Burn her! 
 BEDEVERE:  How do you know she is a witch? 
 VILLAGER #2:  She looks like one. 
 CROWD:  Right!  Yeah!  Yeah! 
 BEDEVERE:  Bring her forward. 
 WITCH:  I'm not a witch.  I'm not a witch. 
 BEDEVERE:  Uh, but you are dressed as one. 
 WITCH:  They dressed me up like this. 
 CROWD:  Augh, we didn't!  We didn't... 
 WITCH:  And this isn't my nose.  It's a false one. 
 BEDEVERE:  Well? 
 VILLAGER #1:  Well, we did do the nose. 
 BEDEVERE:  The nose? 
 VILLAGER #1:  And the hat, but she is a witch! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Yeah! 
 CROWD:  We burn her!  Right!  Yeaaah!  Yeaah! 
 BEDEVERE:  Did you dress her up like this? 
 VILLAGER #1:  No! 
 VILLAGER #2 and 3:  No.  No. 
 VILLAGER #2:  No. 
 VILLAGER #1:  No. 
 VILLAGERS #2 and #3:  No. 
 VILLAGER #1:  Yes. 
 VILLAGER #2:  Yes. 
 VILLAGER #1:  Yes.  Yeah, a bit. 
 VILLAGER #3:  A bit. 
 VILLAGERS #1 and #2:  A bit. 
 VILLAGER #3:  A bit. 
 VILLAGER #1:  She has got a wart. 
 RANDOM:  [cough] 
 BEDEVERE:  What makes you think she is a witch? 
 VILLAGER #3:  Well, she turned me into a newt. 
 BEDEVERE:  A newt? 
 VILLAGER #3:  I got better. 
 VILLAGER #2:  Burn her anyway! 
 VILLAGER #1:  Burn! 
 CROWD:  Burn her!  Burn!  Burn her!... 
 BEDEVERE:  Quiet!  Quiet!  Quiet!  Quiet!  There are ways of telling whether 
     she is a witch. 
 VILLAGER #1:  Are there? 
 VILLAGER #2:  Ah? 
 VILLAGER #1:  What are they? 
 CROWD:  Tell us!  Tell us!... 
 BEDEVERE:  Tell me.  What do you do with witches? 
 VILLAGER #2:  Burn! 
 VILLAGER #1:  Burn! 
 CROWD:  Burn!  Burn them up!  Burn!... 
 BEDEVERE:  And what do you burn apart from witches? 
 VILLAGER #1:  More witches! 
 VILLAGER #3:  Shh! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Wood! 
 BEDEVERE:  So, why do witches burn? 
     [pause] 
 VILLAGER #3:  B--... 'cause they're made of... wood? 
 BEDEVERE:  Good!  Heh heh. 
 CROWD:  Oh, yeah.  Oh. 
 BEDEVERE:  So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? 
 VILLAGER #1:  Build a bridge out of her. 
 BEDEVERE:  Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone? 
 VILLAGER #1:  Oh, yeah. 
 RANDOM:  Oh, yeah.  True.  Uhh... 
 BEDEVERE:  Does wood sink in water? 
 VILLAGER #1:  No.  No. 
 VILLAGER #2:  No, it floats!  It floats! 
 VILLAGER #1:  Throw her into the pond! 
 CROWD:  The pond!  Throw her into the pond! 
 BEDEVERE:  What also floats in water? 
 VILLAGER #1:  Bread! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Apples! 
 VILLAGER #3:  Uh, very small rocks! 
 VILLAGER #1:  Cider! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Uh, gra-- gravy! 
 VILLAGER #1:  Cherries! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Mud! 
 VILLAGER #3:  Uh, churches!  Churches! 
 VILLAGER #2:  Lead!  Lead! 
 ARTHUR:  A duck! 
 CROWD:  Oooh. 
 BEDEVERE:  Exactly.  So, logically... 
 VILLAGER #1:  If... she... weighs... the same as a duck,... she's made of 
     wood. 
 BEDEVERE:  And therefore? 
 VILLAGER #2:  A witch! 
 VILLAGER #1:  A witch! 
 CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!... 
 VILLAGER #4:  Here is a duck.  Use this duck. 
     [quack quack quack] 
 BEDEVERE:  Very good.  We shall use my largest scales. 
 CROWD:  Ohh!  Ohh!  Burn the witch!  Burn the witch!  Burn her!  Burn her! 
     Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn her!  Ahh!  Ahh... 
 BEDEVERE:  Right.  Remove the supports! 
     [whop] 
     [clunk] 
     [creak] 
 CROWD:  A witch!  A witch!  A witch! 
 WITCH:  It's a fair cop. 
 VILLAGER #3:  Burn her! 
 CROWD:  Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn her!  Burn!  Burn!... 
 BEDEVERE:  Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science? 
 ARTHUR:  I am Arthur, King of the Britons. 
 BEDEVERE:  My liege! 
 ARTHUR:  Good Sir Knight, will you come with me to Camelot and join us at 
     the Round Table? 
 BEDEVERE:  My liege!  I would be honored. 
 ARTHUR:  What is your name? 
 BEDEVERE:  'Bedevere', my liege. 
 ARTHUR:  Then I dub you 'Sir Bedevere, Knight of the Round Table'. 
  
 -- 
 Brachman alone is Real. Om, Om... 
  
 --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05 
  * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)